Category Archives: Journal

Describing PTSD before I Knew I had it

Posted on April 23, 2022 by jenny

Reading through my journal for  1994, I came on these paragraphs. What’s fascinating is that I’m describing PTSD, but I have no idea that’s what’s going on. I do somehow know that I need to go in deeper, but have … Continue reading →

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April 1994: Interview for Journey Into Courage Video

Posted on April 5, 2022 by jenny

In 1994, Bess O’Brien decided that it was time to stop doing performances of Journey Into Courage, and to make a video. I went back to find the link to the video, and discovered that I have already published some … Continue reading →

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Listening Deeply Within

Posted on February 5, 2022 by jenny

from my journal for Friday, February 4 Just meditated for about half an hour.  Tried to hineinhorchen, to listen within.  Asked Inner Teacher for help.  Paid attention to the sound of snow blower.  Reminded of planes.  “God comes disguised as our … Continue reading →

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Inner Teacher

Posted on January 30, 2022 by jenny

I’ve been having a bad time. This morning I woke up feeling utterly bleak. I recite all sorts of meaningless phrases. “Great Beings, have mercy on me.” “May all beings be held in lovingkindness.” It doesn’t help. I can’t manage … Continue reading →

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Steps on the Way to Neskaya

Posted on January 24, 2022 by jenny

Imbolc is the Cross-Quarter Day, also called Candlemas. February 2, 1992     Imbolc I went to folk dance yesterday, it was very hard getting myself there, and the tapes and tape deck and cauldron and candles.  Driving out the … Continue reading →

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Beginnings of Neskaya

Posted on January 24, 2022 by jenny

Some of my dancers are doing a project about the history of Neskaya, and wanted more information.  So I went back in my journal, looking for the first mention and some history about how the process happened. October 14, 1991  … Continue reading →

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Inner Teacher

Posted on January 13, 2022 by jenny

I’ve been having a really hard time. We have a few COVID cases among the staff, so things have closed down a little. I think they are realizing that we are suffering from lack of connection, so they are not … Continue reading →

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Seeing that I am Still Connected

Posted on December 26, 2021 by jenny

I worked on this blog post on November 6, but didn’t publish it.  Reading it over, I think it expresses very well exactly where I was. From my journal for Monday, November 1 Headache.  Feeling a little bleak.     … Continue reading →

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Empty Cold Place

Posted on December 20, 2021 by jenny

from my journal for October 24 2021 Checking email, I saw something about how corporate interests are acting against the freedom of the internet.  I could feel the “bad guys” closing in, and it reminded me of Etty Hillesum as … Continue reading →

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Write My Way Down to a Truth

Posted on November 5, 2021 by jenny

Thursday, November 4 Yesterday was an odd day. It felt disjointed somehow, things did not go smoothly or naturally. I think I kept want to “write my way down to a truth” and not getting to it until finally, just before 3:00 … Continue reading →

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