Category Archives: Present Day

Further Thoughts about “stuck in misery”

Most of this was written on Saturday, March 20 in my journal.  I’ve modified it somewhat. I woke up at 3AM still struggling with the question of being “stuck in my misery.”  I thought things like I won’t go to … Continue reading

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Still There Will be Kindness

WholeHeart: The poem was “A Cure Against Poisonous Thought” by Annie Lighthart Believe the world goes on and this bee bending in honeysuckle just one of a mighty nation, golden beads thrumming a long invisible thread. In the green drift … Continue reading

Posted in Guidance, Present Day, Writing | 1 Comment

The Support of the Ordinary, Reprise

I did a blog post on the support of the ordinary back in November of 2018. I had been at Kendal for about a year.  Here’s a paragraph: Erica has been telling me that I will begin to get a … Continue reading

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Accept the Reality of Who I Am?

This came from Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditations: It’s written by Claude AnShin Thomas, a Vietnam Veteran struggling with PTSD.  I realize I’ve been struggling with my PTSD, trying to heal it so I could finally “have a life.”  I keep … Continue reading

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Disconnected

Sunday, May 2 At Hanover Meeting on Zoom.  Feeling badly disconnected. This is a result of my early trauma, and the social distancing. Dear Inner Divine Voice, I’m scared and lost and desperately need help. Dear Jenny, I am right … Continue reading

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Knockdown

Almost two weeks ago now, I had a fall and hurt my right knee.  My left knee had been giving me trouble and I had just walked around Rivercrest twice without it hurting, and was feeling pretty good.  Then BAM! … Continue reading

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An Anarchist Quaker’s Prayer to Soothe Anxiety

This came from Yes! Magazine.  I copied it into a document I call “Resource,” which I go to in times of trouble.  I’m doing really badly right now, and this seemed appropriate.  I wish I could manage to soothe myself, … Continue reading

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Paradigm Shift

Recently I realized that the two worlds I shift between, the one where I’m stuck in depression, worthless, living a meaningless broken life, and the one where I haven’t wasted my suffering, and my work on myself benefits everyone — … Continue reading

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Social Distancing is Difficult for Me

I suspected that I was having a very hard time with the social distancing because I was traumatized by being left alone too much when I was an infant.  The problem has to do with regulating the nervous system.  Your … Continue reading

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“Stuck in Their Misery”

I got an email recently from someone who said I was “stuck in my misery.”  Feeling fortified by the knowledge that I hadn’t wasted my suffering, and knowing that our culture tends to blame people for their suffering, I didn’t … Continue reading

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