Category Archives: Present Day

Blank, Empty, Dead

Written in writing group on Monday, March 11: I’m scared.  Why should I be scared to write?  Nothing to say.  Talk about fear.  Well, it comes and goes.  I don’t find much else to think about.  Even had trouble writing … Continue reading

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Wanting to be Connected to Spirit

From my journal for Saturday, March 9 I realized, walking Mocha, that it’s not dying I’m afraid of but living.  After two months with a sore knee, having to use a walker and a cane, and now facing an operation, … Continue reading

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“What have I done with my life?”

Last week, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I talked to the surgeon and liked her very much. I also trusted her. The surgery will happen at the end of this month. It sounds like it will be just a … Continue reading

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Turning Toward What’s Difficult

I listened to a podcast of Tami Simon interviewing Tsultrim Allione, who started a Buddhist retreat center in Colorado, and did a lot of work to bring the feminine into Buddhism.  She talked about facing and incorporating the bad, a practice … Continue reading

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An “Emanation” of a Great Being

The Sounds True podcast of Tami Simon interviewing Lama Tsultrim Allione was quite amazing, in fact I’ve read the transcript more than once. Tsultrim Allione talks about being told she was an “emanation” of an 11th century Tibetan yogini named Machig Lahdrön. … Continue reading

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Talk with Youngest Part

At least I think/feel it’s the youngest. She can’t talk so I have to sense her feelings. I was reading James Hollis’s book What Matters Most, and got to the part where he talks about doing what your soul wants … Continue reading

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Trauma Survivors have Difficulty Experiencing Love

This is from Gretchen Schmelzer’s blog: For those of you who have been hurt or who grew up with trauma you may know the word love, but you may not understand what it means. Or maybe you understand what it … Continue reading

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Help from Inner Teacher

Written today. Looking back, I see that I’ve only written one post about the knee pain. Reading it reminds me that my early trauma can trigger me into feeling more helpless than I am. After one week of feeling considerably … Continue reading

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Victim Story

I read a piece on the CAC’s Daily Meditation.  It’s about the story of victimization.  Of course, a lot of people have had their lives made more difficult by various conditions, poverty, race, gender, etc. I see that the problem … Continue reading

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Confusing, Difficult Time

I’ve been having a really hard confusing time. Excerpts from some relevant journal entries: Friday, January 26   … this odd realization.  Something to do with if God is in everything, then I “am” God, if god feels my pain then … Continue reading

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