Category Archives: Breakdown

Empty Cold Place

from my journal for October 24 2021 Checking email, I saw something about how corporate interests are acting against the freedom of the internet.  I could feel the “bad guys” closing in, and it reminded me of Etty Hillesum as … Continue reading

Posted in Breakdown, Depression, Journal, Present Day | Comments Off on Empty Cold Place

Angry One

Feeling desperately scared the morning of June 22, I found it really hard even to go through my well-practiced routine of cooking breakfast.  As soon as I finished breakfast and walked Mocha, I went down to the Clinic to see … Continue reading

Posted in Breakdown, Journal, Present Day, Trauma | Comments Off on Angry One

Anatomy of a Breakdown

I’ve been reading through my blog from the very beginning.  I am once again in the 12 year cycle, at a time when Jupiter in the sky is opposed Jupiter’s position when I was born.  Ever since 1972 I have … Continue reading

Posted in Breakdown, Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on Anatomy of a Breakdown

Guidance from August 2008

(Written in August 2008 and originally posted on March 16, 2010) Dear Guides and Guardian Spirits, it’s been a very stressful time, and I feel totally out of touch with Spirit.  Please help me. Dear Jenny, we love you.  Take … Continue reading

Posted in Breakdown, Guidance, Journal | Comments Off on Guidance from August 2008

Two Whole Weeks of Terror, February 1971

from my journal.  entries are undated.  A lot of this is in a post from January 2016 how calmly does the olive branch observe the sky begin to blanch without a cry, without a prayer with no betrayal of despair…  … Continue reading

Posted in Breakdown, Journal, Present Day, Ritual Year, Trauma | Comments Off on Two Whole Weeks of Terror, February 1971

Wanting to Live my “Big Life”

This was originally posted on September 16, 2011.  It’s such a good analysis of my typical breakdown.  It was also a little shocking to find a relatively serious breakdown in 2003.  I always think of the one in 2008, and … Continue reading

Posted in Breakdown, Depression, Trauma | Comments Off on Wanting to Live my “Big Life”

Identity Confusion/Conflict (for lack of a better title)

Friday, June 8 Don’t know how to start.  So odd.  I read what I wrote down that Elizabeth said in our phone conversation — “Identity in flux” — yes that’s exactly my experience. “Attachment repair” — homies seeking to “re-identify”  … Continue reading

Posted in Breakdown, Healing, Journal, Present Day, Trauma | Comments Off on Identity Confusion/Conflict (for lack of a better title)

“…and it is trying desperately to flower…”

Written in Davis, California, at the time of my breakdown and hospitalization.    This poor tree is hanging at the edge of the abyss — its roots have no soil and are trying to press into crevices in the rock, … Continue reading

Posted in Breakdown, Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on “…and it is trying desperately to flower…”

50th Anniversary of Assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King jr.

My journal entry for April 4, 1968 I don’t know where to start.  It seemed as though the volcano was going to blow last night.  I wanted to smash a window or something — perhaps because of Dr. King’s death?  … Continue reading

Posted in Activism, Breakdown, Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on 50th Anniversary of Assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King jr.

Feeling Unreal

I haven’t posted anything for a while.  My life has been very difficult: overwhelming, crazy-making.  There’s an earlier post about Feeling Unreal, so that’s been another part of this difficult summer.  I don’t even know how much sense this post … Continue reading

Posted in Breakdown, Journal, Present Day, Trauma | Comments Off on Feeling Unreal