Category Archives: Breakdown

1996: Enneagram 4, Difficult Winter, Individuation Process

From my journal for May 8, 1996 Woke early.  I have angry rejoinders to my brother going through my head, so thought I would just write them down.  Actually, I think he did me a service with his stupid, patronizing, … Continue reading

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Lost, Discouraged, without Resources or Support

I have been having a very hard time because I haven’t been able to sleep unless I take a drug, which I’ve now taken for almost a month, and shouldn’t take for very long.  But if I don’t take it, … Continue reading

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1996: Early Thoughts on “Trauma”

From my journal for January 10, 1996 Visit to Hart, the naturopath.  I told her that I was struggling with depression. …  We talked about suicide a little, I said I felt even about that “it won’t do any good.”  … Continue reading

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Empty Cold Place

from my journal for October 24 2021 Checking email, I saw something about how corporate interests are acting against the freedom of the internet.  I could feel the “bad guys” closing in, and it reminded me of Etty Hillesum as … Continue reading

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Angry One

Feeling desperately scared the morning of June 22, I found it really hard even to go through my well-practiced routine of cooking breakfast.  As soon as I finished breakfast and walked Mocha, I went down to the Clinic to see … Continue reading

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Anatomy of a Breakdown

I’ve been reading through my blog from the very beginning.  I am once again in the 12 year cycle, at a time when Jupiter in the sky is opposed Jupiter’s position when I was born.  Ever since 1972 I have … Continue reading

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Guidance from August 2008

(Written in August 2008 and originally posted on March 16, 2010) Dear Guides and Guardian Spirits, it’s been a very stressful time, and I feel totally out of touch with Spirit.  Please help me. Dear Jenny, we love you.  Take … Continue reading

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Two Whole Weeks of Terror, February 1971

from my journal.  entries are undated.  A lot of this is in a post from January 2016 how calmly does the olive branch observe the sky begin to blanch without a cry, without a prayer with no betrayal of despair…  … Continue reading

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Wanting to Live my “Big Life”

This was originally posted on September 16, 2011.  It’s such a good analysis of my typical breakdown.  It was also a little shocking to find a relatively serious breakdown in 2003.  I always think of the one in 2008, and … Continue reading

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Identity Confusion/Conflict (for lack of a better title)

Friday, June 8 Don’t know how to start.  So odd.  I read what I wrote down that Elizabeth said in our phone conversation — “Identity in flux” — yes that’s exactly my experience. “Attachment repair” — homies seeking to “re-identify”  … Continue reading

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