Monthly Archives: December 2023

“Thinking Makes it So”?

Posted on December 31, 2023 by jenny

This is from The Art of Stillness, by Pico Iyer As Marcus Aurelius reminded us more than two Millennia ago, it’s not our experiences that form us but the ways in which you respond to them; a hurricane sweeps through … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Present Day, Trauma | Comments Off

Rescuing the Baby on the Garbage Can

Posted on December 30, 2023 by jenny

from my journal for December 9 Erica said my system is so open that the moment I unbend, and see the part as separate from me, I offer a hug and the exile runs into my arms. All my life … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Healing, Journal, Trauma, Work with parts | Comments Off

Knee Trouble — Last Straw

Posted on December 27, 2023 by jenny

My knee first started to hurt on December 20. I have no idea what caused it. It started with some really bad jabs of pain. The pain was in the muscles in the back of the knee. Walking without bending … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Journal, Present Day, Trauma | Comments Off

1996: Early Thoughts on “Trauma”

Posted on December 26, 2023 by jenny

From my journal for January 10, 1996 Visit to Hart, the naturopath. I told her that I was struggling with depression. … We talked about suicide a little, I said I felt even about that “it won’t do any good.” … Continue reading →

Posted in Breakdown, Depression, Journal, Trauma | Comments Off

Christmas

Posted on December 25, 2023 by jenny

This was first posted on December 25, 2011 Christmas when I was growing up was mostly about presents and parties. Our family had its ritual — stockings on our bed when we woke up, no access to the tree and … Continue reading →

Posted in Spirit, Story | Comments Off

1996: Spending Time in Hell

Posted on December 24, 2023 by jenny

From my journal for January 8, 1996 What’s being most discouraging at the present moment is having no positive feelings — I can’t remember what it was like to feel love. There’s not even a clear pain, like grief or … Continue reading →

Posted in Journal, Trauma | Comments Off

Winter Solstice at Neskaya

Posted on December 21, 2023 by jenny

The Winter Solstice celebration at Neskaya is my favorite one of the year. Alas, because of COVID, we haven’t done it for several years now. Because our normal dance time is on Sunday, we would celebrate on the Sunday nearest … Continue reading →

Posted in Circle Dance | Comments Off

1996: Not a “New” Year

Posted on December 19, 2023 by jenny

From my journal for January 1, 1996 I’ve never felt less like a new year. All the hoorah that people make, the parties, Times Square, etc seems so silly, so feeble. People going through the motions of newness (new year’s … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Journal | Comments Off

Blended with Non-verbal Parts

Posted on December 17, 2023 by jenny

Friday, December 8, I asked Erica for an extra appointment because I was having such a hard time. I’m being unable to say anything when I’m with my friends, and I imagine they are judging me for it. I tell … Continue reading →

Posted in Healing, Present Day, Spirit, Trauma, Work with parts | Comments Off

“Conclude I can’t do it”

Posted on December 16, 2023 by jenny

From my journal for Friday, November 17 I’m feeling very empty — not in a good way — this is more lack of meaning and connection. On my list for this week is get help for my cell phone from … Continue reading →

Posted in Guidance, Journal, Present Day, Writing | Comments Off

Monthly Archives: December 2023

Archives

Meta