Category Archives: Writing

Collapse of a Coping Strategy

This was originally posted in March 2012 (journal entry written in June 2004) Day started badly.  Found bank deposit that I prepared before I left for Kripalu & forgot.   I feel out of control.  This scares me because it looks … Continue reading

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Persephone, revisited

from journal for Saturday, November 21 This was the second full day of the Courage & Renewal Retreat described in an earlier post: We were told to wander around outside or inside your space, find things that are beautiful, find … Continue reading

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Healing

From post for October 2003: The pain in my heart is so great — there’s something about this deep level that’s so difficult.  I suppose because I’m so practiced at making myself wrong and turning away from this kind of … Continue reading

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What can I do with what’s left?

Today I had a really hard time.  Because of COVID, there are a number of offerings on the internet, talks, webinars, ongoing classes, all of which are of potential interest to me.  I start to feel overwhelmed, and then a … Continue reading

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Writing about Sorrow and Death

More from journal for February 18, 1992 Candle.  Cup of tea.  Bach B minor Mass. I want to write about sorrow and death.  I was going to listen to aap sahaee hoaa on earphones, but the tape is in the … Continue reading

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Struggle to Take Care of Myself

The next three posts are from writing I did on February 18 in 1992.  I’ve been reading my way through my old journals in an attempt to integrate my younger self with my present self.  I keep being surprised at … Continue reading

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Today

A lot of firsts.  I’m typing this directly into the computer.  My “3rd cup” is just water.  I walked Mocha down outside to get the mail.  Blue sky, brisk temperature.  I was glad to be alive.  And not afraid of … Continue reading

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Guidance

I am probably in one of the safest places on the planet right now.  I’m in a retirement community with a good healthcare system, the campus was locked to outsiders by March 6.  People coming from outside have to go … Continue reading

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“I’ve been working for so long…”

Going through my blog for 2017, I came to this post from February 2017.  It’s a journal entry from January 2017.  It pretty well describes what I’m feeling like right now.  The only difference is that I AM in a … Continue reading

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Blind Terror

What a strange experience.  I’m not even sure I can write about it accurately.  I thought my brain had stopped working.  I was afraid it had to do with getting old.  Erica reframed it as a stage in spiritual growth, … Continue reading

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