Inner Teacher

I’ve been having a really hard time. We have a few COVID cases among the staff, so things have closed down a little. I think they are realizing that we are suffering from lack of connection, so they are not forbidding us to get together, just discouraging us. The tables in the dining room are back to five people a table or less. It’s also been very cold, so time outside has not been much fun.  I found myself doing puzzles compulsively yesterday, and not even enjoying it. So today I asked Inner Teacher for help.

Thursday, January 13

Dear Inner Teacher, I’m feeling pretty bleak and finding it hard to do practical things.  Can you help me?

Dear Jenny, bless your heart!  You are much too conscientious.  It’s perfectly OK to do puzzles, though it would be better if you could enjoy them instead of doing them compulsively.  You are once again beyond the end of your resources.  You need more support from outside to be able to overcome your apathy.  You wish that you could, like Etty, like Joanna Macy, feel joy and gratitude.  Dear One, your ability to feel positive emotions was severely compromised by early trauma and lack of positive mirroring when you were very young.  One good thing, you haven’t been beating on yourself to “shape up.”  Keep in mind Little Jenny with the Dar Gorani Look.  She can see that there is a better world out there, but she can’t get there.  Be kind to her, and take care of her as best you can.  Remember, though you can’t feel it, you are greatly loved, and you are greatly loving.

Thank You.

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