Monthly Archives: September 2020

The Meaning of My Life, 1976

Posted on September 30, 2020 by jenny

from my journal for February 22, 1976 very black mood last night.  feeling like my life was like a sketch that has gone wrong and should be abandoned, torn up, so that a new start could be made.  So I … Continue reading →

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From 1988: Fantasy? Prophesy?

Posted on September 26, 2020 by jenny

When I read this in my journal, as we struggle with the COVID-19 pandemic, I wonder How did I know?  Even the association of failure to honor the Earth Spirits causing climate disruption.  This is the shaman I was designed … Continue reading →

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Alone in an Empty Universe

Posted on September 24, 2020 by jenny

From my journal for Thursday, September 24 3rd cup. coffee.  WholeHeart questions. The poem was about a lighthouse 1. Who are your light keepers? 2. What keeps you afloat? 3. How are you “keeping a light for those left out”? … Continue reading →

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Not Feeling at Home in My Own Body

Posted on September 23, 2020 by jenny

From The Body Keeps the Score, by Bessel van der Kolk, MD: “Traumatized people do not recognize their bodies as a source of pleasure and comfort or even as part of themselves that needs care and nurturance. When we cannot … Continue reading →

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Perspective on the Deupree Family

Posted on September 22, 2020 by jenny

Kathi Brown was a really good friend from my years in California.  She and her family rescued me when I left a relationship that wasn’t working.  When I was in the Hospital at Davis after a breakdown, she came every … Continue reading →

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Not OK to Feel Good About Myself

Posted on September 21, 2020 by jenny

Reading through my old journals I come across stories like this one.  So painful, so sad.  At the time I couldn’t see that this was something I learned from how my mother treated me. I also, of course, thought that … Continue reading →

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To Be Friendly Toward Myself

Posted on September 20, 2020 by jenny

In Meeting this morning, someone read a poem by Mirabai about beauty.  I think about how the ability to perceive and enjoy beauty depends on brain chemistry.  I was very glad to find that out, because I thought I was … Continue reading →

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Unconditional Presence

Posted on September 19, 2020 by jenny

This came in the Daily Good for September 17.  It’s from the website of John Welwood.  The whole thing is worth reading.  It explains what happened when I saw that I was failing to recognize how badly triggered I was … Continue reading →

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Lama Rod Owens: Healing is a Process

Posted on September 17, 2020 by jenny

This came from Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditation: Healing Is a Process Thursday, September 17, 2020 I have been recently introduced to the work of Lama Rod Owens, a Black, queer, American-born, Tibetan Buddhist teacher, who was raised in the Christian … Continue reading →

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No Longer in Denial

Posted on September 16, 2020 by jenny

I realized this morning that I have been badly triggered for weeks and in denial of it.  I saw that I was going back and forth between overwhelm and numb, but failed to get that that meant I never got … Continue reading →

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