Monthly Archives: September 2020

Alone in an Empty Universe

From my journal for Thursday, September 24 3rd cup. coffee.  WholeHeart questions. The poem was about a lighthouse 1. Who are your light keepers? 2. What keeps you afloat? 3. How are you “keeping a light for those left out”? … Continue reading

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Not Feeling at Home in My Own Body

From The Body Keeps the Score, by Bessel van der Kolk, MD: “Traumatized people do not recognize their bodies as a source of pleasure and comfort or even as part of themselves that needs care and nurturance. When we cannot … Continue reading

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Perspective on the Deupree Family

Kathi Brown was a really good friend from my years in California.  She and her family rescued me when I left a relationship that wasn’t working.  When I was in the Hospital at Davis after a breakdown, she came every … Continue reading

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Not OK to Feel Good About Myself

Reading through my old journals I come across stories like this one.  So painful, so sad.  At the time I couldn’t see that this was something I learned from how my mother treated me. I also, of course, thought that … Continue reading

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To Be Friendly Toward Myself

In Meeting this morning, someone read a poem by Mirabai about beauty.  I think about how the ability to perceive and enjoy beauty depends on brain chemistry.  I was very glad to find that out, because I thought I was … Continue reading

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Unconditional Presence

This came in the Daily Good for September 17.  It’s from the website of John Welwood.  The whole thing is worth reading.  It explains what happened when I saw that I was failing to recognize how badly triggered I was … Continue reading

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Lama Rod Owens: Healing is a Process

This came from Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditation: Healing Is a Process Thursday, September 17, 2020 I have been recently introduced to the work of Lama Rod Owens, a Black, queer, American-born, Tibetan Buddhist teacher, who was raised in the Christian … Continue reading

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No Longer in Denial

I realized this morning that I have been badly triggered for weeks and in denial of it.  I saw that I was going back and forth between overwhelm and numb, but failed to get that that meant I never got … Continue reading

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What it feels like to be triggered

from my journal for May 6, 1992 Having a really hard time.  Dana & I tried to sort out the stuff on the back shelves preparatory to moving things into the new store room, but our styles of going about … Continue reading

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