Monthly Archives: May 2023

“Bombed-out Village,” reprise

Posted on May 29, 2023 by jenny

Originally posted in November 2018 Wednesday, November 21, 2018 Thinking about talking with Erica about starting to tolerate — and even enjoy — the ordinary. For most of my life I was in too much psychic pain, I needed something … Continue reading →

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From 1994: Mom playing “Good Mother”

Posted on May 22, 2023 by jenny

November 1994 I made an appointment with a psychic and told her a little about what I was wanting, especially that I wanted to cut any strings remaining with mother.  Within the hour, the phone rang again and a familiar harsh … Continue reading →

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My Life as a “Great Adventure”

Posted on May 18, 2023 by jenny

Written in writing group on April 24. I remember how it used to upset me when people talked about “being grateful for the gift of life.”  I felt like the “gift” came to me smashed, it wasn’t a gift at … Continue reading →

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“A deep well of sadness”

Posted on May 17, 2023 by jenny

Writing done in group on Monday, May 15 A well of unprocessed grief “To be met!”  That’s what I said when I was doing somatic experiencing with Peter Payne.  He also did body work and I was sitting on his … Continue reading →

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From 1994: Needing to prove that I am “really sick”

Posted on May 16, 2023 by jenny

From my journal for 11/30/94  Talking to Dana this morning about the “unfairness” of having my life be so restricted by illness, and how unhappy it makes me, and how it would be easier if I could just accept it … Continue reading →

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Quote from Etty Hillesum and Synchronicity

Posted on May 14, 2023 by jenny

“People sometimes say, ‘you must try to make the best of things.’  I find this such a feeble thing to say.  Everywhere things are both very good and very bad at the same time.  The two are in balance, everywhere … Continue reading →

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“Both very good and very bad”

Posted on May 13, 2023 by jenny

From my journal for Saturday, May 13 So much color in the world!  Flowering trees — dark pink flowers with dark red leaves, white flowers so thick they hide the leaves — alas I saw no bees today.  Tulips, so … Continue reading →

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A Well of Unprocessed Grief

Posted on May 11, 2023 by jenny

For a number of days I’ve been feeling really awful. Empty and meaningless, lost in a world where there is no depth or soul. In writers group on Monday I tried to describe it. I thought maybe I was picking … Continue reading →

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From 1992: Jenny seen by Elizabeth Goudge

Posted on May 6, 2023 by jenny

(Started in January 92, in Writers’ Group.  “I’ve been thinking of trying to write a description of myself as though I were an Elizabeth Goudge character.  That means with a lot of compassion, but no avoidance of weaknesses, and a … Continue reading →

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Interweavings

Posted on May 3, 2023 by jenny

I wrote this in writers group on May 1. I wasn’t really happy with it, it didn’t flow easily as “left-hand writings” did in the past. But the group liked it, which made me cry. So I post it here. … Continue reading →

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