Monthly Archives: October 2020

Healing

From post for October 2003: The pain in my heart is so great — there’s something about this deep level that’s so difficult.  I suppose because I’m so practiced at making myself wrong and turning away from this kind of … Continue reading

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Wisdom from my Younger Self

Reading my journal from decades ago, I am sometimes astounded at things I realized, that somehow got lost — I suppose because they didn’t fit my “worldview.”  Here’s an example: June 24, 1992 I never wrote that yesterday, after the … Continue reading

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What can I do with what’s left?

Today I had a really hard time.  Because of COVID, there are a number of offerings on the internet, talks, webinars, ongoing classes, all of which are of potential interest to me.  I start to feel overwhelmed, and then a … Continue reading

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Pressure to “Prove that I Deserve to Live”

I’ve been reading through my journal from the beginning.  These two entries really impressed me as describing a dynamic which I have been coming to know well.  I have called it “keeping going through a blizzard” and “false urgency.”  It … Continue reading

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“Dead” Bulbs Come Back to Life

From my journal: Thursday, September 17 The most amazing thing has happened!  I went to water the plants while my second cup of tea is brewing, and the two narcissus bulbs that never sprouted have put out green shoots! Resurrection … Continue reading

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Rewriting My Life

From my journal for yesterday: WholeHeart:    poem is Making Peace by Denise Levertov “If we restructured the sentence our lives are making.” The sentence my life is making.  It definitely needs to be restructured. Trauma becomes initiation. Abuse becomes … Continue reading

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