Monthly Archives: August 2019

Developmental Trauma Disorder

Posted on August 30, 2019 by jenny

In working on a previous post about developmental trauma disorder, I came across this paper by Bessel van der Kolk, who I consider the world’s foremost expert in trauma. Therapists who work with traumatized people have been trying to get “developmental … Continue reading →

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The Arctic is Burning, the Amazon is Burning

Posted on August 26, 2019 by jenny

I spent some time last week being totally freaked out about global warming. Through some synchronicities (see previous post) I was helped to understand how it related to my childhood trauma of being abandoned by my mother. The panic subsided, … Continue reading →

Posted in Guidance, Journal, Present Day, Trauma, Vocation | Comments Off

Struggle to understand why I’ve been so freaked out…

Posted on August 22, 2019 by jenny

I haven’t posted for a while because I’ve been having a very hard time. The usual brain not working, often feeling shaky and weak, feeling burdened by so many unresolved things, unable to think what to do next, finding it … Continue reading →

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Gaslighting, Again

Posted on August 10, 2019 by jenny

This actually starts with me being caught by a scam. It involved an email from a woman I know slightly here at Kendal. It involved a request to buy 3 $100 iTunes for her grandson. I said I really couldn’t … Continue reading →

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Dark Night of the Soul, Again

Posted on August 8, 2019 by jenny

Saturday, August 3 3rd cup of tea. When I went out to walk Mocha, my legs felt very weak. I decided I needed grounding, so tried to feel my legs and my feet contacting the earth. Mocha went down the … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Journal, Present Day, Trauma | Comments Off

The Pain/Grief Underneath

Posted on August 2, 2019 by jenny

Pulled out of that dead place quickly, Thank You! First thing that helped was telling my friend Elizabeth. She made sympathetic noises and told me she loved me, always much more helpful than making suggestions for how to get out. … Continue reading →

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Another Sojourn in the Pit

Posted on August 1, 2019 by jenny

Journal for Thursday, August 1 3rd cup of tea: It was beautiful outside when I walked Mocha, cool, sunny, sparkling. But I could not experience it. This mood doesn’t have the weight of depression, it’s more a sense of why … Continue reading →