Monthly Archives: June 2020

The Oneness of Guilt and Pain

Posted on June 28, 2020 by jenny

I watched this talk on Healing Trauma and Spiritual Growth with Peter Levine, who developed Somatic Experiencing, and Thomas Huebl, a spiritual teacher, and found it enormously helpful.  In fact I watched it twice.  I was struck by a story … Continue reading →

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Self-betrayal

Posted on June 27, 2020 by jenny

This is from my journal for May 1991.  It describes the process that Bessel Van Der Kolk called “Hijacking.”  “The big issue for traumatized people is they don’t own themselves any more.  Any loud sound, anybody insulting them, hurting them, … Continue reading →

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Is Sorry Enough?

Posted on June 26, 2020 by jenny

From my journal for May 25, 2020 Kesaya Noda sent the Hanover Meeting listserve a link to a piece by a doctor who’s working on the Navajo Reservation.  It’s an apology to a baby girl he delivered, wearing a mask … Continue reading →

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Abandonment Trauma

Posted on June 26, 2020 by jenny

In yesterday’s post I notice the words “nothing”, underlined, and “annihilation.”  I’m simply unable to describe how it actually felt, and in fact, right now, I don’t remember how it felt.  Can’t recall it.  It’s such a total disappearance of … Continue reading →

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Being Unmet

Posted on June 21, 2020 by jenny

from my journal for Wednesday, May 20 I was feeling really awful yesterday.  It was like I had lost all the spiritual connection I’ve felt over the past months.  Somehow I was able to trust that it was real, it … Continue reading →

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Coalesce, Confluence, Confusion…

Posted on June 20, 2020 by jenny

Books I’ve been reading, recent news, posts on the internet, images that come to mind…  all have been coming together in a pattern, or almost a pattern, or maybe an almost combination that’s con-fusing…   To me, con-fusing suggests melting … Continue reading →

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Working on Trusting Myself

Posted on June 17, 2020 by jenny

From my journal for May 18, 2020 Crashed rather badly yesterday.  Not even sure what it was.  Well, there were a number of things.  Spontaneous Evolution was in a place that made me see how big is the danger that … Continue reading →

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Frozen Terror from PTSD

Posted on June 13, 2020 by jenny

I was amazed when reading through my journal for 1991 I found this: from Journal for April 25, 1991 I have been printing out copies of Ritual Year to send to people. When I glance through it, and see things like … Continue reading →

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How I Was Traumatized

Posted on June 10, 2020 by jenny

I realize that when I described feeling like George Floyd being held down and suffocated, I didn’t explain what happened to me and how it felt.  I had a dear friend who had been horribly abused in a physically abusive … Continue reading →

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Connecting with the pain of all of us…

Posted on June 2, 2020 by jenny

I have been feeling very sad and sore, quiet and tired.  I’ve been doing a lot of digital puzzles, not to avoid the feeling but because I didn’t know what to do with it.  Actually, I see that making some … Continue reading →

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