Category Archives: Trauma

Trauma as a Warp in the Space-Time Continuum

I don’t usually write about these kinds of ideas.  My early journals are full of them.  Sometimes I wish there was some way of conveying them to a scientist who would be interested in investigating them.  That’s a part of … Continue reading

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Self-betrayal

This is from my journal for May 1991.  It describes the process that Bessel Van Der Kolk called “Hijacking.”  “The big issue for traumatized people is they don’t own themselves any more.  Any loud sound, anybody insulting them, hurting them, … Continue reading

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Is Sorry Enough?

From my journal for May 25, 2020 Kesaya Noda sent the Hanover Meeting listserve a link to a piece by a doctor who’s working on the Navajo Reservation.  It’s an apology to a baby girl he delivered, wearing a mask … Continue reading

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Abandonment Trauma

In yesterday’s post I notice the words “nothing”, underlined, and “annihilation.”  I’m simply unable to describe how it actually felt, and in fact, right now, I don’t remember how it felt.  Can’t recall it.  It’s such a total disappearance of … Continue reading

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Being Unmet

from my journal for Wednesday, May 20 I was feeling really awful yesterday.  It was like I had lost all the spiritual connection I’ve felt over the past months.  Somehow I was able to trust that it was real, it … Continue reading

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Working on Trusting Myself

From my journal for May 18, 2020 Crashed rather badly yesterday.  Not even sure what it was.  Well, there were a number of things.  Spontaneous Evolution was in a place that made me see how big is the danger that … Continue reading

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Frozen Terror from PTSD

I was amazed when reading through my journal for 1991 I found this: from Journal for April 25, 1991 I have been printing out copies of Ritual Year to send to people. When I glance through it, and see things like … Continue reading

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How I Was Traumatized

I realize that when I described feeling like George Floyd being held down and suffocated, I didn’t explain what happened to me and how it felt.  I had a dear friend who had been horribly abused in a physically abusive … Continue reading

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Connecting with the pain of all of us…

I have been feeling very sad and sore, quiet and tired.  I’ve been doing a lot of digital puzzles, not to avoid the feeling but because I didn’t know what to do with it.  Actually, I see that making some … Continue reading

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Gaslighting, Reprise

I posted “Another Complete Cycle” on March 18, 2020.  It’s about a day when Daily Kos posted something about Donald Trump’s minimizing of the COVID crisis, and I suddenly didn’t trust Daily Kos.  Now that didn’t really make sense, because … Continue reading

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