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Meta
Category Archives: Journal
1995: “Happiness is a Choice?”
From my journal for Sept 5,1995 Reading the new version of Son-Rise — a friend offered it to me because of their practice of radical acceptance of their autistic son — I find myself very angry at the exposition of … Continue reading
Posted in Depression, Journal, Trauma
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Early Work with Younger “Parts”
(Written in June 2004) In a session of the “Wave Work” at Kripalu: there was a confusing struggle with my body’s tendency to cramp up (esp left hand) and kick, shake, jump. Finally I let it shrivel up into a … Continue reading
1995: Moving Along the Bottom
From my journal for November 14, 1995 [I had a dream about Andy Lindsay who worked at the yacht club, had a boat called “Pelagius — for the originator of some heresy.” I looked it up: “Pelagianism: The theological doctrine … Continue reading
1995: Symptoms of Trauma
At this point in 1995 I had no idea I was dealing with PTSD. From my journal for November 10: Second cup of tea. … and nothing to say. I feel cold. There’s the ache in my stomach and heart … Continue reading
Posted in Depression, Journal, Trauma
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1995: Looking for Value in my Life
From my journal for October 27, 1995 I’m bored with reading, I feel too tired to write … Sometimes I hate my life. (“I need to learn to love my poor wounded life because it needs love”) How can I … Continue reading
Posted in Circle Dance, Journal, Spirit
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1995: The Trauma of “Don’t think you’re so great”
In this passage I see that I am essentially a creative person, but I’ve never been able to actualize more than a small percentage of what I was capable of. The reason is because of my mother constantly telling me … Continue reading
Posted in Depression, Journal, Trauma
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1995: Biological Foundation for Mood Disorders
I wish I had named the book and the author. I find it fascinating that it took so long for me to find out that I was dealing with trauma, that my reaction to the noise of the planes was … Continue reading
Posted in Depression, Journal, Trauma
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1995: “Truth” and “Self”
This is was written during the time when I was having a bad time with the noise of small planes, especially the ones that towed gliders up from the Franconia Airport. I wrote this after a particularly bad day. I’m … Continue reading
1995: Self-Mutilation
So amazing to read this. I started cutting myself in California when a boyfriend left me for someone else. I did it for a number of years in my 20’s, and stopped, interestingly, when my brother said “Buddha says ‘life … Continue reading
Posted in Depression, Journal, Trauma
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1995: Difficulty with Creativity
This is a description of a therapy session with Karen Collins who I saw in Montpelier for many years. I was amazed at what it reveals about my difficulty with my creativity. I had understood at one point that when … Continue reading