Category Archives: Journal

How I’m Feeling Today, written long ago…

from my journal for January 14, 1993 This describes exactly how I’m feeling today. written in writers’ group, listening to music Changes like the Moon.  20 minutes The river flowing, underneath, under the soil, down in the sand.  Massive, heavy, … Continue reading

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“Priestess of Neskaya”

It feels very scary to call a part of myself “Priestess of Neskaya.” But I think if I were living out of my True Self, that’s who would be manifesting. This blog piece attempts to document a process toward integration … Continue reading

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Feeling Compassion for Myself

One of my constant struggles is to find compassion for myself.  Most of the time I’m angry at myself and hating myself for being such a failure.  I’ve treated myself worse than any other human being. From my journal for … Continue reading

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Trapped in Stone

Tuesday, July 13 Work with Erica was experiential, she asked me to not write during the session.  Passages in italics are from my journal: An intense session with Erica.  She managed to get me out of being trapped in rock.  … Continue reading

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Working with Scared One

from journal for Monday, August 2 Yesterday was pretty miserable. I realize that in some ways the misery of the day matched the metaphor of being trapped in stone. Trapped in a narrow point of view. Unable to imagine anything bigger. I started … Continue reading

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Working with “Stuck Heart”

from my journal for Friday, July 30 Woke at 5.  Intense heat.  Some fear, but mostly stuck heart.  Feeling desperately discouraged, unable to tune in or figure out what is going on with my heart.  Unable to get any compassion … Continue reading

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Need for Forgiveness

This morning I wrote a long piece about the constant stuck pain in my heart, and trying to figure out what it was.  It came to me that it might have been about this incident with Mother.  Reading it earlier … Continue reading

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Blow by Blow Description of Work with “Parts”

This is an attempt to illustrate what my work with parts is like.  I wrote in my journal exactly what was going on, when it was happening. Sunday, July 18 I think if I can’t do anything else, maybe I … Continue reading

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Forgiveness

From my journal for Monday, June 28 Yesterday was a miserable day.  The low-grade fear or whatever it is in my heart is so uncomfortable.  I’ve been trying to get her to tell me what the problem is, but so … Continue reading

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Angry One

Feeling desperately scared the morning of June 22, I found it really hard even to go through my well-practiced routine of cooking breakfast.  As soon as I finished breakfast and walked Mocha, I went down to the Clinic to see … Continue reading

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