Category Archives: Depression

Coalesce, Confluence, Confusion…

Books I’ve been reading, recent news, posts on the internet, images that come to mind…  all have been coming together in a pattern, or almost a pattern, or maybe an almost combination that’s con-fusing…   To me, con-fusing suggests melting … Continue reading

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How I Healed the Phobia

These are the last two paragraphs of my blog post from 2011 about the airplane phobia: “Looking back at it, I can see better how it became so horrendous.  Hypersensitivity to sound is a symptom of PTSD, but I still … Continue reading

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Invalidating and Trivializing my Experience

I have been reading my journal for 1986, and came across this entry about the noise phobia in November. I had a bad time with anger yesterday.  Feelings of rage kept surfacing, and I would let myself feel it, but … Continue reading

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“Shelter in Place”

Because of COVID-19, I am getting scared on a regular basis.  If I can find either my grief or my gratitude it will help dissolve the fear.  But it’s a wild ride.  I also have been getting together with my … Continue reading

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Acceptance of Pain

from my journal for July 23, 1976: amazing! miraculous! out of the depression and into an energy high. am weaving a finn weave project (tough going) that has been on the loom since Easter. Yesterday the weather broke and my mood did … Continue reading

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Another Complete Cycle

Went through another complete cycle on Tuesday.  Daily Kos ran a story about how Trump has been minimizing the COVID danger.  He cares about the stock market more than people.  It showed his statements about “everything is fine” correlating with … Continue reading

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The Demon’s Mirror

From my journal: Wednesday, March 4 I’m feeling very sad and very lonely. Grief group was painful. Talked to Erica about how despairing I was feeling about what’s going on in the world.  She was supportive, did not try to … Continue reading

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Creativity and Mental Illness

Writing my journal this morning, I struggled with scattered thoughts, lots of odd, confused ideas.  Then the universe connected me with an interesting piece of information.  It was on Brainpickings, by Maria Popova. She quotes Nancy Andreasen’s book The Creating … Continue reading

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The Practice of Self-love

(Written in February 2003 and posted April 25, 2010) Yesterday I was thinking that I had this wonderful new technique for transforming my life, that my relationship with terror and despair is completely different.  Well, actually that’s still true.  Just … Continue reading

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Turnaround in the Pit

I’ve been feeling like a combination of the Dan Siegel material, the diagnosis of macular degeneration, and reading my early journals brought me to a place where I feel beyond redemption.  I think of this as the Pit, a deep … Continue reading

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