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Meta
Category Archives: Depression
“A deep well of sadness”
Writing done in group on Monday, May 15 A well of unprocessed grief “To be met!” That’s what I said when I was doing somatic experiencing with Peter Payne. He also did body work and I was sitting on his … Continue reading
Posted in Depression, Healing, Journal, Present Day, Somatic Experiencing
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A Well of Unprocessed Grief
For a number of days I’ve been feeling really awful. Empty and meaningless, lost in a world where there is no depth or soul. In writers group on Monday I tried to describe it. I thought maybe I was picking … Continue reading
Posted in Depression, Journal, Present Day
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From 1994: “Choose to be Happy”
From my journal for October 30, 1994 Woke feeling very depressed. Hard to get out of bed. Told myself it was just chemicals in my body and I had to go on with my life. Held it up “as prayer.” … Continue reading
Posted in Depression, Journal
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Folk Dancing Feeds my Soul
From an earlier post called “When did you stop dancing?” “In many shamanic societies, if you came to a medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited or depressed, they would ask one of four questions: When did you stop dancing? … Continue reading
Posted in Depression, Healing, Present Day, Spirit
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From 1994: “This miserable wimp is herself my task”
From my journal for September 1994, about a session with my therapist Karen: I wanted to focus on that feeling that it’s not OK to protect myself from the noise of the planes by wearing the walkman. We explored all … Continue reading
Posted in Depression, Journal, Trauma
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From 1994: Seeing How Hard My Life has Been
From my journal for September 1994 O gosh, I feel so sad and bummed out. I see lots of things I “should” do, organizing house type things, and I feel “what’s the use.” The planes haven’t been too bad so … Continue reading
Posted in Depression, Journal, Trauma
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Worldview
I wrote this in December 2005 and first posted it on October 8, 2010. I wrote it deliberately as a vision for how I wanted to see my life, I didn’t believe it at all. Reading it today I am … Continue reading
Anger is Unmetabolized Grief
Just watched the Francis Weller video on grief. He says that anger is unmetabolized grief. I thought about the other day, when I realized that I was angry with my ex-husband for the coldness with which he treated me after … Continue reading
Posted in Depression, Present Day
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Low Thyroid
Found out from Dr. Vreeland that my thyroid is badly underfunctioning. This was about 10 days ago. Since then, I have stopped pushing myself. It was a relief to find that there was a physical reason for my difficulty waking … Continue reading
Posted in Depression, Present Day, Trauma
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Describing PTSD before I Knew I had it
Reading through my journal for 1994, I came on these paragraphs. What’s fascinating is that I’m describing PTSD, but I have no idea that’s what’s going on. I do somehow know that I need to go in deeper, but have … Continue reading
Posted in Depression, Journal, Trauma
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