Category Archives: Depression

Losses of my Life

Continued from journal for February 18, 1992 What am I grieving for?  All the losses of my life.  I suppose I might as well list them.  And immediately, up comes that sense of boredom and criticism, who do you think … Continue reading

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Writing about Sorrow and Death

More from journal for February 18, 1992 Candle.  Cup of tea.  Bach B minor Mass. I want to write about sorrow and death.  I was going to listen to aap sahaee hoaa on earphones, but the tape is in the … Continue reading

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Struggle to Take Care of Myself

The next three posts are from writing I did on February 18 in 1992.  I’ve been reading my way through my old journals in an attempt to integrate my younger self with my present self.  I keep being surprised at … Continue reading

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Coalesce, Confluence, Confusion…

Books I’ve been reading, recent news, posts on the internet, images that come to mind…  all have been coming together in a pattern, or almost a pattern, or maybe an almost combination that’s con-fusing…   To me, con-fusing suggests melting … Continue reading

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How I Healed the Phobia

These are the last two paragraphs of my blog post from 2011 about the airplane phobia: “Looking back at it, I can see better how it became so horrendous.  Hypersensitivity to sound is a symptom of PTSD, but I still … Continue reading

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Invalidating and Trivializing my Experience

I have been reading my journal for 1986, and came across this entry about the noise phobia in November. I had a bad time with anger yesterday.  Feelings of rage kept surfacing, and I would let myself feel it, but … Continue reading

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“Shelter in Place”

Because of COVID-19, I am getting scared on a regular basis.  If I can find either my grief or my gratitude it will help dissolve the fear.  But it’s a wild ride.  I also have been getting together with my … Continue reading

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Acceptance of Pain

from my journal for July 23, 1976: amazing! miraculous! out of the depression and into an energy high. am weaving a finn weave project (tough going) that has been on the loom since Easter. Yesterday the weather broke and my mood did … Continue reading

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Another Complete Cycle

Went through another complete cycle on Tuesday.  Daily Kos ran a story about how Trump has been minimizing the COVID danger.  He cares about the stock market more than people.  It showed his statements about “everything is fine” correlating with … Continue reading

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The Demon’s Mirror

From my journal: Wednesday, March 4 I’m feeling very sad and very lonely. Grief group was painful. Talked to Erica about how despairing I was feeling about what’s going on in the world.  She was supportive, did not try to … Continue reading

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