Category Archives: Journal

Forgiveness

Posted on June 28, 2021 by jenny

From my journal for Monday, June 28 Yesterday was a miserable day.  The low-grade fear or whatever it is in my heart is so uncomfortable.  I’ve been trying to get her to tell me what the problem is, but so … Continue reading →

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Angry One

Posted on June 24, 2021 by jenny

Feeling desperately scared the morning of June 22, I found it really hard even to go through my well-practiced routine of cooking breakfast.  As soon as I finished breakfast and walked Mocha, I went down to the Clinic to see … Continue reading →

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Work with Stuck Energy

Posted on June 18, 2021 by jenny

From my journal for Wednesday, June 16 “May this energy go to where it can be used for the highest and best good of all.”  I woke at about 4:20 and felt the burning energy in my heart and elbows.  … Continue reading →

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Work with Younger Parts of Me

Posted on June 9, 2021 by jenny

To explain to people I trust when they ask how I am, I’ve been saying: “I’m dealing with flashbacks to early trauma, and I often feel terrified.”  The reality is that I am overwhelmed with very young parts who are … Continue reading →

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Bombed-Out Village, Reprise

Posted on May 31, 2021 by jenny

On May 24, I wrote my “primary wound history,” following the assignment from Matt’s course. At the end of this writing I say: At least writing this has helped make the fear fade.  I also am somewhat surprised to see … Continue reading →

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Finding Help for Terror

Posted on May 27, 2021 by jenny

What would be a 3rd cup writing except I’m too scared for caffeine.  Looking for help, I went to Matt’s blog, and just intuitively clicked on April 2019, then on “A Container of Holding.”  Matt reminds me that I’m not … Continue reading →

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“Unreal” Suffering

Posted on May 16, 2021 by jenny

I’ve been struggling with almost continuous terror for the last three days. Knowing it was trauma-based, being pretty sure it was because of social distancing, I tried to spend more time with people, but even eating dinner together didn’t help. … Continue reading →

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A Sojourn in Hell

Posted on May 13, 2021 by jenny

Here are some extracts from my journal for the week after I fell and hurt my knee on Monday, April 5.  See Knockdown.  During the week my knee got worse, and I had a very bad time psychologically.  I think … Continue reading →

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Prayer Call for India

Posted on May 11, 2021 by jenny

On Sunday, May 9, I participated in a Zoom call for prayers for the people in India suffering from the COVID overwhelm. It was put on by ServiceSpace.  I got this from the folks who put it on, thanking us: … Continue reading →

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Further Thoughts about “stuck in misery”

Posted on May 8, 2021 by jenny

Most of this was written on Saturday, March 20 in my journal.  I’ve modified it somewhat. I woke up at 3AM still struggling with the question of being “stuck in my misery.”  I thought things like I won’t go to … Continue reading →

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