Finding Help for Terror

What would be a 3rd cup writing except I’m too scared for caffeine.  Looking for help, I went to Matt’s blog, and just intuitively clicked on April 2019, then on “A Container of Holding.”  Matt reminds me that I’m not alone, that there are other empaths out there with wounded younger parts, who are feeling terror for the destruction of the earth.  I am suddenly aware of a huge crowd, and people are coming to sit down next to me.  It is comforting to know I’m not alone, I’m in the company of my peers.  

Before sitting down to write, I prayed to the Bodhisattva of Compassion, saying that I simply couldn’t handle this much fear, that I need some help with even the fear that is legitimately mine.  Then I got out the statue of the Bodhisattva holding a baby and set her up in front of the big crystal.  I intended to light a candle in front of her, but got distracted until I looked up just now, after doing this writing.

Thank You.  I still feel a little fear, but I also feel comforted.  I am not alone.  There are people sitting near me, and people all around the planet doing the lovingkindness meditation for all beings.

These are paragraphs from Matt’s blog that helped the most:

Is it my pain alone that I am feeling, my personal emotional overwhelm, my trauma, my grief, my uncertainty, my anguish? It’s so much to hold. Or is it that of the ancestors, the stories and feelings and memories and images of those who have come before, or even have yet to come? It is not always easy to tell and the weight of tending to it all can be unbearable at times. 

While recognizing our common humanity and history—and the vast relational field that we share with others who have come to know healing, wholeness, and mercy—doesn’t necessarily make the pain go away, it provides a context or container of holding in which we can find the strength, the hope, and the vision to find a way through, to discover a light that has never truly gone out.

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