Prayer Call for India

On Sunday, May 9, I participated in a Zoom call for prayers for the people in India suffering from the COVID overwhelm. It was put on by ServiceSpace.  I got this from the folks who put it on, thanking us:

Thank you again for joining a palpable prayer circle, just half-a-day ago.  Interspersed with reflections from the frontlines in India, we took breaths of each other’s goodwill and sat with that wordless whisper in our hearts. It was profoundly humbling to witness over 500 “signatures of sincerity” across 40+ countries converge into such a sacred stream of Oneness.

One of the reasons I signed up for it is that recently, when I was feeling very disconnected from everyone, I thought that there must be other people feeling just as disconnected.  I thought of someone in India, dying alone in a huge stone floored building with other sick people, in the dark.  I went and sat next to him and put my hand on him, and said “I’m here.” It always helps when I can remember that I’m not the only one, and go to be with someone else, even if I can’t help, just as I do with Little Jenny when she’s scared.

from my journal for Monday, May 10:

Feeling so lost.  I remember that yesterday, when I was on the call for meditation to help the COVID crisis in India, it seemed like everything else, the political idiocy in this country, even global warming, just faded away.  A woman was singing a Sanskrit chant, and I found myself, without effort, doing the meditation Erica described.  Energy going through me toward, into, the ball of light.  My only thought was “may you go to the healing realms.”  It felt wonderful.  I wish I could just do that all the time.  It would be a worthwhile way to spend the rest of my life.

The meditation was for letting go of feelings that didn’t belong to me.  I was to imagine a basketball-size sphere of light, at a “conversational distance,” and let the feelings stream into it, telling the feelings to go to the “healing realm.”

“I love that river, river’s taking care of me.”  I wonder if that’s a message from my Higher Self to tell me that there is a bigger Force in the Universe, that can help painful experiences become opportunities for transformation.  I am held in that field of healing energy.  I offer myself to the healing process.  I can’t make healing happen, but I can offer myself to the process.  I still feel disconnected and lost, but maybe that’s just part of the process.  Maybe I just have to let go of a lot of old stuff, old familiar stuff that constituted a false self, a mistaken notion of who Jenny is that nevertheless gave me a false sense of being grounded.  “We are chipping away at the very ground she stands on.”  Not my job to pull myself back to the old normal.

“I love that river…” are lines from a song by Magpie, on their Living Planet CD. It’s about the abundance of Nature that is always offered to us.

“We are chipping away…” is from I Never Promised You a Rose Garden. The therapist is telling Deborah’s parents why she may not look well, even though the therapy is progressing toward health.

So amazing.  I was going to ask Higher Self for help, but the help just came.  Thank You.

Getting up to make my second cup of tea I see a huge beautiful female spirit holding her arms out to me.  She gives me a hug, says “I’m always here.”  I ask why sometimes I can’t feel her.  She says “You have to be willing to be lost.”

Ah yes.  The way I have sometimes healed depression, by being with it and willing to be depressed forever, the way I sit with Little Jenny in the pit and say “I’m here, and I won’t leave you.”

This entry was posted in Guidance, Journal, Present Day, Spirit, Trauma. Bookmark the permalink.