Category Archives: Breakdown

Via Negativa

Posted on May 16, 2011 by jenny

(Written in November 2008) Reading Natural Grace by Sheldrake & Fox.  I started the chapter on prayer and found Matthew Fox on the via negativa: “The negative way is the way of darkness, suffering, silence, letting go, and even nothingness.  … Continue reading →

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Heart Hurting

Posted on May 15, 2011 by jenny

(Written in November 2008) Woke up with my heart hurting.  At first I made it be that I was bad and selfish and stingy that my heart was so cramped.  Then I thought perhaps my heart hurt so much because … Continue reading →

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Trauma

Posted on May 14, 2011 by jenny

(Written in November 2008) I was getting ready to go to Lore (my art therapist), but didn’t have much to take for the Retablo project I wanted to work on, I could feel the possibility of being torn apart, my … Continue reading →

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Self Love

Posted on May 13, 2011 by jenny

(Written in November 2008) So it looks like, right now, Spirit is forcing me to cocoon, to pull inward, to face the hard and difficult task of learning to love myself in all of my confusion, pain, passion and generosity.  … Continue reading →

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Guidance

Posted on May 12, 2011 by jenny

(Written in November 2008) Dear Guides & Guardian Spirits, I’m feeling pretty bummed out.  I have short times of feeling OK, but it doesn’t last.  Can you help me? Dear Jenny, we love you, we love you very much.  Actually … Continue reading →

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Breakdown, continued

Posted on May 11, 2011 by jenny

(Written in November 2008.  After having a very bad time in August-September of 2008, I had a little respite in October & then things got bad again in late November.) Trouble eating yesterday, slept badly last night.  It’s 10° out.  … Continue reading →

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Somatic Experiencing

Posted on May 2, 2011 by jenny

(Written in October 2008) Yesterday I had some times of being completely relaxed, feeling my whole body sinking down.  It felt wonderful.  At the moment, I feel that fullness in the chest and it keeps me from that complete relaxing.  … Continue reading →

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Moment of Reprieve

Posted on April 30, 2011 by jenny

(Written in October 2008) I’ve been typing journal from late August when things were starting to get bad, and again it seems like somebody else’s experience.  I describe feeling the worst despair I’ve ever felt in my life, and I … Continue reading →

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Jupiter Opposition

Posted on April 29, 2011 by jenny

(Written in September 2008) A good night’s sleep.  Feeling considerably better, tho a little shaky & strange.  Brain not quite working right.  Wafts of very strange feelings to which I’m not going to pay much attention.  I’ll put my focus … Continue reading →

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Good Day

Posted on April 28, 2011 by jenny

(Written in September 2008) Woke OK this morning!  Took 2 buspar right away.  Feeling a very little sad and scared right now.  Yesterday afternoon & evening went pretty well.  I was able to cycle between reading, typing journal, playing solitaire, … Continue reading →

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