Self Love

(Written in November 2008)
So it looks like, right now, Spirit is forcing me to cocoon, to pull inward, to face the hard and difficult task of learning to love myself in all of my confusion, pain, passion and generosity.  In my ability to teach dance and hold space for others, and in the times when I give in to despair and nothing in me fights back.  I’ve had such opportunities this year to learn to love the spiritual warrior blazing with passion to help the oppressed, and to learn to love the traumatized baby who needed me to turn inward and take care of nothing but her needs.  But now I’m back in a time where loving myself looks like such a mistake, both PROFOUNDLY morally wrong and wicked (“how could I possibly do something so evil”) and just plain impossible (“how could I possibly love someone who’s such a mess.”)