Category Archives: Trauma

I Surrender, My Life is Unmanageable

Posted on May 2, 2014 by jenny

The last couple of days have been really tough.  When I finally accepted the suggestion that my medications needed to be checked, I fell down into the pit.  I didn’t realize how much I had been depending on medication to … Continue reading →

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Struggle with Depression

Posted on April 4, 2014 by jenny

Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me. I am a good person and I want what’s best for everyone. I intend to do the will of god I intend to be who god designed me to be I intend to … Continue reading →

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Struggling with Fear

Posted on April 3, 2014 by jenny

Dear Guides and Guardian Spirits, are you there?  I’m feeling bereft of spirit and god.  Can you help me? Dear Jenny, we love you very much.  We are all around you although we know you can’t feel our presence.  We … Continue reading →

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My Life is Unmanagable, I Surrender

Posted on March 27, 2014 by jenny

Tired and slow.  A little discouraged.  I called both Eve and Barbara, and they didn’t call back.  No matter what I did: read, play solitaire, I could feel the sadness like a weight in my heart.  I did try to … Continue reading →

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“False Urgency”

Posted on February 16, 2014 by jenny

Back in 2001 I broke my wrist.  I had gone down to rescue a car that was partway up the driveway.  The weather was freezing rain, and the ice on the driveway was pretty serious, which was why my friend … Continue reading →

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Waiting

Posted on February 15, 2014 by jenny

Since I’ve been essentially trying to let go of “false urgency” (which is a consequence of trauma) and learning to wait in silence, I went back to reread Sue Monk Kidd on waiting.  from When the Heart Waits “Referring to … Continue reading →

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Conscious Choices for Authenticity

Posted on February 14, 2014 by jenny

from Gary Zukav, The Seat of the Soul This quote is from a chapter on addiction.  I found it very helpful.  Even though I am neither addicted to PTSD, nor attracted to experiencing depression and terror, I do suddenly find … Continue reading →

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Rocky Road

Posted on January 23, 2014 by jenny

I try to type up a journal entry about a month after it was written — unless I write something I want to share right away.  Normally, I wouldn’t post something like this, but I think it gives a very … Continue reading →

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Ten Years — Forty Years

Posted on December 5, 2013 by jenny

I wrote a journal piece 10 years ago, on my effort to understand which stories work for me and which don’t.  I posted it as “Choices & Dysfunctional Beliefs.”  It’s painful to me that I’ve been struggling with PTSD for … Continue reading →

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It Gets Harder

Posted on September 18, 2013 by jenny

My heart hurts.  Grieving for Bella has gotten harder.  Thursday I was depressed.  Friday I started the day feeling totally empty, feeling like Bella had never lived.  I couldn’t remember what she looked like.  I couldn’t feel her spirit. Then … Continue reading →

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