Category Archives: Journal

Early Trauma and Knee Pain

Posted on January 15, 2024 by jenny

This blog is about living with PTSD, so what’s the point of writing about my sore knee?  I did a post about it on December 27, but then I thought it wasn’t directly relevant. It turns out that I am … Continue reading →

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1996: Grief About Neglect When I was a Baby

Posted on January 12, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for February 2, 1996 I spent most of my session with Karen crying.  I told her about the awful pain I woke with Tuesday morning and how everything that I could hold on to had disappeared.  I … Continue reading →

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1996: First Hint of Early Trauma

Posted on January 11, 2024 by jenny

These notes are from my journal for January 30, 1996.  I’ve clearly had a very bad night. I haven’t been able to find the previous notebook, so I don’t know what else I might have said. But my reference to … Continue reading →

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Another Look at “Obstreperous Part”

Posted on January 6, 2024 by jenny

Some of this material was first published in October, in two separate posts. The Daily Good today  (10/22/23) was an essay by Francis Weller on grief. When I first heard about his work from my therapist, I went to a … Continue reading →

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Rescuing the Baby on the Garbage Can

Posted on December 30, 2023 by jenny

from my journal for December 9 Erica said my system is so open that the moment I unbend, and see the part as separate from me, I offer a hug and the exile runs into my arms.  All my life … Continue reading →

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Knee Trouble — Last Straw

Posted on December 27, 2023 by jenny

My knee first started to hurt on December 20.  I have no idea what caused it. It started with some really bad jabs of pain. The pain was in the muscles in the back of the knee. Walking without bending … Continue reading →

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1996: Early Thoughts on “Trauma”

Posted on December 26, 2023 by jenny

From my journal for January 10, 1996 Visit to Hart, the naturopath.  I told her that I was struggling with depression. …  We talked about suicide a little, I said I felt even about that “it won’t do any good.”  … Continue reading →

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1996: Spending Time in Hell

Posted on December 24, 2023 by jenny

From my journal for January 8, 1996 What’s being most discouraging at the present moment is having no positive feelings — I can’t remember what it was like to feel love.  There’s not even a clear pain, like grief or … Continue reading →

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1996: Not a “New” Year

Posted on December 19, 2023 by jenny

From my journal for January 1, 1996 I’ve never felt less like a new year.  All the hoorah that people make, the parties, Times Square, etc seems so silly, so feeble.  People going through the motions of newness (new year’s … Continue reading →

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“Conclude I can’t do it”

Posted on December 16, 2023 by jenny

From my journal for Friday, November 17 I’m feeling very empty — not in a good way — this is more lack of meaning and connection.  On my list for this week is get help for my cell phone from … Continue reading →

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