Category Archives: Depression

Exhausted

Posted on March 7, 2011 by jenny

(Written in August 2008) (This is part of the ongoing series describing my breakdown that started with the entry for March 4, 2011.  I haven’t been able to deal with this material before without getting extremely anxious.) Karen thinks I’m … Continue reading →

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Why Go On?

Posted on March 6, 2011 by jenny

(Written in August 2008) Why go on?  This is a serious question this morning.  Not that I would try to kill myself today.  My chest hurts, it’s grey out, I’m deeply discouraged. The Planet I love is in deep trouble, … Continue reading →

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Bleak

Posted on March 5, 2011 by jenny

(Written in August 2008) I’m in some very bleak place staring at a very bleak truth.  I really don’t believe that I have any worth or value in myself, I really profoundly believe that the people who are my “friends” … Continue reading →

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The Downturn

Posted on March 4, 2011 by jenny

(Written in August 2008) Kayla helped me open up about feeling discouraged and disappointed and ineffective and I finally was able to cry.  I’ve been “soldiering on” since the Nia training, and the tears have been building up.  I talked … Continue reading →

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Reading Old Journals

Posted on March 2, 2011 by jenny

(Written in July 2008) Reading 1987 is fascinating and painful.  I’m struggling with the plane phobia — doing a lot that I hope will help: DMA Structural Consulting, David Grove Workshop, NLP — also blaming myself and trying to figure … Continue reading →

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Bleak

Posted on February 19, 2011 by jenny

(Written in February 2008) Woke feeling bleak.  Heart like a stone.  I can’t tell if I’m tired or if I’m depressed.  I just don’t want to do anything.  I read in Animals in Spirit: “Death means wanting to be peaceful; … Continue reading →

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Scared & Discouraged

Posted on February 16, 2011 by jenny

(Written in January 2006) Woke scared this morning.  Called Karen who called back pretty quickly.  She asked about yoga, art, writing for guidance.  I told her I’d done all those and gone out on snowshoes too.  She said then I … Continue reading →

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The Grief Recovery Handbook

Posted on February 15, 2011 by jenny

The Grief Recovery Handbook was written by John W. James and Russell Friedman.  It was first published 20 years ago, and mostly focused on losses by death or divorce.  The authors have continued to work with people and revised their … Continue reading →

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Discontented

Posted on February 14, 2011 by jenny

(Written in March 2009) I went to Karen.  I started reading her the loss history pages — got to the stuff about Fred and sexual dysfunction, I started to cry, so I just went into it.  I cried and screamed … Continue reading →

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Feeling like an Abandoned Baby

Posted on February 6, 2011 by jenny

(Written in March 2007) Bleak and cold.  No warmth no love anywhere.  I tell myself this is what an infant feels when Mom is gone. Another possibility is that this coldness represents a defense against a worse pain — I … Continue reading →

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