Category Archives: Depression

Therapy

Posted on April 7, 2011 by jenny

(Written in February 2010) Karen was a big help.  I cried a lot and said how discouraged I was that I’ve been working so long and so hard and I haven’t gotten any better.  Karen said I was a lot … Continue reading →

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Elizabeth Goudge

Posted on March 16, 2011 by jenny

Elizabeth Goudge is a British writer who published 16 novels from 1936 to 1970.  She also wrote short stories, children’s books, and books about Christianity.  I was lucky to find her during a period of severe depression, and lucky that … Continue reading →

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Nancy Napier

Posted on March 15, 2011 by jenny

(Written in September 2008) A little better this morning.  My heart still hurts but I’m not experiencing the same depth of despair.  Yesterday I was reading Nancy Napier’s chapter on despair where she talks about sending a line of light … Continue reading →

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Theater Workshop

Posted on March 14, 2011 by jenny

(Written in August 2008) I want to think a little about what I didn’t get from the drama workshop.  I think I was wanting to celebrate my strength in getting as far as I have — it was the same … Continue reading →

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Angry at Myself

Posted on March 14, 2011 by jenny

(Written in September 2008) I’m worried that Bella’s medication isn’t working.  I listened to Napier tapes which sometimes provide relief.  I’m extremely angry at myself for being so stupid as to try to get off meds, and changing Bella’s food.  … Continue reading →

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Frozen Despair

Posted on March 13, 2011 by jenny

(Written in August 2008) Still doing very badly.  Bella has a bladder infection.  Kayla drove me to Littleton to get the medicine because I couldn’t drive.  I’m feeling very weak & shaky. Woke early & used the Salzberg CD. Prayed … Continue reading →

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Struggle

Posted on March 12, 2011 by jenny

(Written in August 2008) Took 100 mg of Seroquel last night.  Woke after 3 in a state of complete self-hatred, frozen self-rejection.  Bella peeing a lot again after seeming a little better.  I’m so angry at myself for possibly wrecking … Continue reading →

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Trauma Through A Child’s Eyes

Posted on March 10, 2011 by jenny

I’ve been reading Trauma Through A Child’s Eyes by Peter Levine and Maggie Kline.  Peter Levine is the person who developed Somatic Experiencing as a method for healing trauma.  The book describes a number of ways children can be traumatized … Continue reading →

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BEYOND Exhausted

Posted on March 9, 2011 by jenny

(Written in August 2008) I’m BEYOND exhausted. I’ve been here before and I’ve come out of it.  Many times.  The sense of “forever” is the baby’s, is part of the brain chemistry.  I’m just typing up from the beginning of … Continue reading →

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Defeated by Life

Posted on March 8, 2011 by jenny

(Written in August 2008) I’ve stopped trying.  I feel completely defeated by life.  I’m on a death march, and I want to keep going as well as I can, to strengthen my comrades, or at least not be a nuisance, … Continue reading →

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