Category Archives: Trauma

Struggle to Lift My Heart

Posted on February 2, 2017 by jenny

Rosten, quoted by Fox, in Hildegard:  “The purpose of life is not to be happy.  The purpose of life is to matter; to have it make a difference that you lived at all.”  p xi I like that a lot, … Continue reading →

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Endure without Relief

Posted on January 29, 2017 by jenny

Grey again and another dusting of snow.  It feels like it has been like this for weeks. Woke up feeling very lonely.  Tried without success to feel love for people I know I love.  So instead of avoiding I have … Continue reading →

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I Have No Idea Who I Am

Posted on January 19, 2017 by jenny

Written on Thursday December 8 Feeling bleak and alone again.  My sense of a vast compassion holding the world is gone.  O gosh nothing means anything.  I’m back to why bother. Christia wanted to watch a video of Gangaji talking … Continue reading →

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Attachment Wound

Posted on January 9, 2017 by jenny

Ache in my heart.  Ache in my whole torso.  Empty.  Without meaning.  I think “It doesn’t have to be this way.”  I remember being at Kindred Spirits and feeling OK. Erica called this “the attachment wound,” this being alone, without meaning, … Continue reading →

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May 1970

Posted on December 17, 2016 by jenny

Yesterday I said to my therapist “I have the illusion that I’m not a loving person.”  O my.  Words that come out of my mouth like that are true.  So I have to really get it.  Reminded me that once, … Continue reading →

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To be Loved or Hurt?

Posted on December 15, 2016 by jenny

Monday I told Lynelle that I couldn’t imagine that Erica could help me.  I have an appointment with her tomorrow.  Lynelle suggested I have a conversation with the part that is trying to protect me.  Who is the one in … Continue reading →

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END OF THE LINE: THE WOMEN OF STANDING ROCK

Posted on December 7, 2016 by jenny

Quote from the fundraising page for a documentary being made by Shannon Kring. As you can see, they have already got the amount they asked for. “It’s very simple. We have to have water for life. And so we’re petitioning … Continue reading →

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Wisdom from Children

Posted on December 7, 2016 by jenny

This happened at the Water Protectors camp at Standing Rock: One morning, a 14-year-old girl asked those sitting before the sacred fire to reflect upon the trauma that may have occurred in the lives of the pipeline security guards who … Continue reading →

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PEACE. LOVE. JUSTICE. MERCY. TRUTH. HOPE.

Posted on November 23, 2016 by jenny

PEACE.  LOVE.  JUSTICE.  MERCY.  TRUTH.  HOPE. This has been my mantra during these days of darkness.  I wanted to put a positive intention out there, and to remind myself of the things I really value.  But I have crashed really … Continue reading →

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Words for Survival

Posted on November 12, 2016 by jenny

It was 1996, the Summer from Hell.  In February I had tried Paxil for 5 days while my terror shot through the roof & got worse & worse until the 5th night when I didn’t sleep at all.  So I … Continue reading →

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