Category Archives: Trauma

Did it to be Mean

Posted on January 19, 2021 by jenny

Reading over my last post I saw these two sentences: [Eleanor] “told Dana that she didn’t see how I could ask her to leave when her therapist was going to be away unless I was deliberately trying to be mean.  … Continue reading →

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1992: Had to Put on the Brakes

Posted on January 17, 2021 by jenny

Kendal has been in lockdown since Christmas.  Fortunately, I can walk my dog with friends who also have dogs, so I get some real physical connection with people every day. But even with that, I’m still having a very hard … Continue reading →

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Guidance for Hard Times

Posted on January 8, 2021 by jenny

I decided to repost this because it’s totally appropriate right now. (Written in May 2009 and posted in August 2013) Dear Guides & Guardian Spirits, I’m in pretty rough shape.  A little scared, a little fragile, a little depressed.  I’m feeling … Continue reading →

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Something Totally New

Posted on December 20, 2020 by jenny

I’ve been reading Thomas Zinser’s book Soul-Centered Healing.  While I drank my coffee and read the Chapter called The Quickening, Mocha started squeaking.  I was determined to finish my coffee and the Chapter before I took her out, but her … Continue reading →

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How this Blog helps me Keep on Keeping on

Posted on December 18, 2020 by jenny

From my journal written in September 2010, and posted in April 2012 as Struggle with Self-Hate I cooked rice but I wasn’t able to eat breakfast.  Called Karen.  She said not to “shame & blame” myself, but of course I’m … Continue reading →

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Collapse of a Coping Strategy

Posted on December 15, 2020 by jenny

This was originally posted in March 2012 (journal entry written in June 2004) Day started badly.  Found bank deposit that I prepared before I left for Kripalu & forgot.   I feel out of control.  This scares me because it looks … Continue reading →

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Needing to be Heard

Posted on December 14, 2020 by jenny

This was originally posted in March 2012 (journal entry from June 2004) A really bad night.  Dogs barking, didn’t call cops.  My heart just ached.  I tried to bring compassion to it without success.  It’s slap in my face how … Continue reading →

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Soul Medicine

Posted on December 11, 2020 by jenny

from my journal for Wednesday, December 9 The talk with Erica turned everything around again.  My energy was so much better for the rest of the day.  My life has not been a chore, but a battle.  A battle against … Continue reading →

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Defeated by Greater and Greater Beings

Posted on December 1, 2020 by jenny

First there was trauma, followed by PTSD, before my brain and nervous system matured. Then lack of mirroring and mis-representation by a narcissistic mother. Then the usual damage by Alcoholic parents. Then being a Highly Sensitive Person in a toxic … Continue reading →

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Do the failures matter?

Posted on November 30, 2020 by jenny

I’ve actually been feeling better since I acknowledged that I’m too tired to do much of anything, and stopped making myself wrong for not getting things done.  Stopped pushing myself. from my journal Wednesday, November 25 Another amazing talk with … Continue reading →

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