Category Archives: Present Day

It Gets Harder

Posted on September 18, 2013 by jenny

My heart hurts.  Grieving for Bella has gotten harder.  Thursday I was depressed.  Friday I started the day feeling totally empty, feeling like Bella had never lived.  I couldn’t remember what she looked like.  I couldn’t feel her spirit. Then … Continue reading →

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Precious Petunia Pumpkin Muffin

Posted on September 6, 2013 by jenny

AKA Bella, Bella Bellissima Padme Hum, Punkledunchkin, You Wretch.  My sweet companion of the last 10 years has gone to the Rainbow Bridge, where she can be seen cavorting happily.   The best description of her occurs in Zajko Kokorajko, … Continue reading →

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The Power of Self-Compassion

Posted on September 5, 2013 by jenny

Since I’ve been practicing self-compassion for a long time, and recently got more serious about it, it was great to read this story.  I subscribe to the “Daily Good,” and get a piece of good news everyday.  Many of them … Continue reading →

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Low Energy

Posted on September 1, 2013 by jenny

Looking through my Resource Notebook, I found this in July 2009. Caryn said that this time of low energy, of “doing nothing” is a time when healing is going on deep inside.  It’s not on a conscious level, so I’m … Continue reading →

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Treating the Pain like an Honored Guest

Posted on August 31, 2013 by jenny

Friday My heart aches.  This is the other side of loving Bella.  I accept the ache as the price of loving.  I would not choose to refuse the love in order to avoid the pain.  I put my arms around … Continue reading →

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Journal Writing as a Spiritual Practice

Posted on August 22, 2013 by jenny

I’ve been keeping a journal since 1959.  Sometime in late 1991 I read Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones, and really liked the idea of “writing practice.”  I saw that it was pretty much what I was already doing.  I … Continue reading →

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Amazing Self-Love

Posted on August 20, 2013 by jenny

It’s been tough, trying to negotiate this terrain of the ending of my relationship with Bella.  It occurs to me that I will continue to have a relationship with her spirit, but I will badly miss the furry object who … Continue reading →

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Ups & Downs

Posted on July 22, 2013 by jenny

Saturday Feeling pretty bummed out.  Understanding that part of this is being angry at myself for being depressed again, I try exploring it. Take a short step back and I see a person who is depressed so she can’t do … Continue reading →

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Wisdom from Yitzhak Perlman

Posted on July 8, 2013 by jenny

Last night was very hot so we did mostly slow dances.  Winds on the Tor, if danced slowly and not holding hands, is conducive to being cooler.  So we did something Laura Shannon called “Yitzhak’s Waltz.”   It was a … Continue reading →

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The Core of Trauma

Posted on July 4, 2013 by jenny

(Written in August 2011) I told Eleanor about how I’m feeling, waves of discouragement, everything I think of doing feels like an impossible chore, I just want to lie down and quit.  She said “This is the core of trauma.”  … Continue reading →

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