Monthly Archives: March 2011

“Severe Practice”

Posted on March 11, 2011 by jenny

(Written in August 2008) Kevin said the fall at the beginning of the Nia training was a bigger injury than I realized, that he had worried about me.  (I fell on some wet steps, such that the corner of a … Continue reading →

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Trauma Through A Child’s Eyes

Posted on March 10, 2011 by jenny

I’ve been reading Trauma Through A Child’s Eyes by Peter Levine and Maggie Kline.  Peter Levine is the person who developed Somatic Experiencing as a method for healing trauma.  The book describes a number of ways children can be traumatized … Continue reading →

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BEYOND Exhausted

Posted on March 9, 2011 by jenny

(Written in August 2008) I’m BEYOND exhausted. I’ve been here before and I’ve come out of it.  Many times.  The sense of “forever” is the baby’s, is part of the brain chemistry.  I’m just typing up from the beginning of … Continue reading →

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Defeated by Life

Posted on March 8, 2011 by jenny

(Written in August 2008) I’ve stopped trying.  I feel completely defeated by life.  I’m on a death march, and I want to keep going as well as I can, to strengthen my comrades, or at least not be a nuisance, … Continue reading →

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Exhausted

Posted on March 7, 2011 by jenny

(Written in August 2008) (This is part of the ongoing series describing my breakdown that started with the entry for March 4, 2011.  I haven’t been able to deal with this material before without getting extremely anxious.) Karen thinks I’m … Continue reading →

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Why Go On?

Posted on March 6, 2011 by jenny

(Written in August 2008) Why go on?  This is a serious question this morning.  Not that I would try to kill myself today.  My chest hurts, it’s grey out, I’m deeply discouraged. The Planet I love is in deep trouble, … Continue reading →

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Bleak

Posted on March 5, 2011 by jenny

(Written in August 2008) I’m in some very bleak place staring at a very bleak truth.  I really don’t believe that I have any worth or value in myself, I really profoundly believe that the people who are my “friends” … Continue reading →

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The Downturn

Posted on March 4, 2011 by jenny

(Written in August 2008) Kayla helped me open up about feeling discouraged and disappointed and ineffective and I finally was able to cry.  I’ve been “soldiering on” since the Nia training, and the tears have been building up.  I talked … Continue reading →

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Radiant Priestess

Posted on March 3, 2011 by jenny

(This was written in July 2008, just before I crashed really badly.  I had been feeling so much better, and I thought I had “really gotten there” i.e. arrived at a place of health and strength.  But I was actually … Continue reading →

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Reading Old Journals

Posted on March 2, 2011 by jenny

(Written in July 2008) Reading 1987 is fascinating and painful.  I’m struggling with the plane phobia — doing a lot that I hope will help: DMA Structural Consulting, David Grove Workshop, NLP — also blaming myself and trying to figure … Continue reading →

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