Monthly Archives: July 2024

1996: Beltane

Posted on July 13, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for April 29, 1996.  The holiday I am talking about is Beltane, May 1, also called May Day, one of the cross quarter days of the Old Nature Religion of Western Europe.  My energy for teaching dance … Continue reading →

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1996: What Would Healing Look Like

Posted on July 12, 2024 by jenny

It makes me so angry to read this now, and to see what I learned from a pair of alcoholics about who I was and what I should do with my life.  From my journal for April 26, 1996: Talked … Continue reading →

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“Dear Jenny, I do love you… “

Posted on July 11, 2024 by jenny

This was written in June 2004 and posted in  September 2011. I read it and was almost moved to tears by the sentence beginning “Dear Jenny, I do love you…” I feel like a very different person, looking at Jenny, … Continue reading →

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1996: Tangle of Fear and Grief and Anger

Posted on July 9, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for April 24, 1996 Driving over to Danville, Lynelle asked how I was doing, and I said I had been anxious until I got to the underlying sadness.  When I can feel the sadness, the anxiety goes … Continue reading →

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1996: Need to Deal with Damage to the Foundation

Posted on July 8, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for April 17, 1996 I’ve been thinking how out of touch I feel with that experience of spaciousness I had last year.  It’s as though it happened to a different person.  I feel like I’ve had all … Continue reading →

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1995: I Want to Feel that My Life has Meaning

Posted on July 7, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for September 19, 1995 Last night I decided that I wasn’t going to fight my depression because there’s a way in which it feels restful. …  I see that what I want is not to be happy, … Continue reading →

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1995: Menopause Questions

Posted on July 6, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for September 12, 1995 I was wondering if I’m doing the part of menopause that involves letting go of worldly accomplishments.  I see that I have been trying to push myself to be creative, imagining that I … Continue reading →

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1995: Struggling with Health, Noise, Confusion

Posted on July 4, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for September 11, 1995 I want to write about my odd feeling yesterday and today.  I’m sure it’s at least partly the cold that makes me feel thick-headed and dazed, partly Dana being away that makes me … Continue reading →

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1996: Description of Trauma before I Understood that I had been Traumatized

Posted on July 3, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for March 1996.  Eleanor is my friend who was badly abused in her family of origin. She was herself dealing with PTSD, and kept trying to convince me that I was too. At that time, I thought … Continue reading →

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Guidance

Posted on July 1, 2024 by jenny

This was originally written in July 2005, and posted in April 2011. At that time I was still writing to my “Guides and Guardian Spirits.” I had some answers where they seemed to fall for my wrong idea that I … Continue reading →

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