Category Archives: Journal

The Will of God

Posted on February 15, 2012 by jenny

I’m SO TIRED. and feeling very empty — of meaning, of reason to go on.  Lynelle brought me the Cynthia Bourgeault CD’s on the “Wisdom Jesus.”  I remember listening to them driving down to Kripalu and back.  I really liked … Continue reading →

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Using Depression in Service to Spiritual Practice

Posted on February 7, 2012 by jenny

I wrote in the post on Depression and the Dark Night that I had used my depression in the service of my spiritual practice.  I want to think what I meant by that.  At least in the beginning, Depression was … Continue reading →

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Morning Sadness

Posted on January 25, 2012 by jenny

(Written in July 2006) One of the consequences of depression is I wake with sadness every morning.  Sometimes I work on it in my journal. Morning sadness.  Ache in my heart. ME: Heart, can you tell me what the ache … Continue reading →

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Choices & Dysfunctional Beliefs

Posted on December 29, 2011 by jenny

(Written in April 2003) I’ve been reading thru Byron Katie and feeling really discouraged because her process doesn’t work for me.  I think it must operate more at a cognitive level, has to do with beliefs that are taken on … Continue reading →

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“Thoughts on Self-Worth” from 1988

Posted on December 20, 2011 by jenny

(Written in January 1988) So how does one “acquire” self-worth — if that’s a legitimate verb which I suspect it’s not.  Self worth is not something one has but something one does, or even deeper than that, it’s a sort … Continue reading →

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More from 1986

Posted on December 19, 2011 by jenny

When I had first got on medication, and was working with a therapist who specialized in mood disorders, she told me that the ability to enjoy was destroyed by depression.  This was such a relief to me.  I realized that … Continue reading →

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Struggle with Depression

Posted on December 18, 2011 by jenny

(Written in March 1986) There’s so much work to be done around the house and I just don’t seem to have the energy.  Or the discipline.  Or the faith that it ultimately means anything to keep this house neat and … Continue reading →

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Reading Old Journals

Posted on December 17, 2011 by jenny

I’ve been going through old journals, copying and pasting into a new word processor so I can update my operating system.  For reasons I don’t fully understand I can’t do the whole document, but must copy 3 or 4 pages … Continue reading →

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Intention

Posted on September 25, 2011 by jenny

(Written in October 2006) I’m feeling a bit scattered.  I’m thinking one thing I could do is make a drawing of my life — the pieces that are scattered — and then what is the center around which they could … Continue reading →

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Choice

Posted on September 2, 2011 by jenny

(Written in August 2003) I think a big chunk of the sadness I’m feeling is seeing how we humans struggle in the midst of so many forces pulling different ways, and we know so little about these forces, and we … Continue reading →

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