Category Archives: Journal

More from 1992

From my journal for May 1992 I start to feel scared and totally blasted —  it’s the old familiar panic — can’t breathe, can’t make my mind focus, can’t make decisions.  Feel totally overwhelmed.  Also feeling that unpleasant combination of … Continue reading →

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April 1992: Ondine

This was written in April of 1992.  “Ondine” was the name of a journal volume that I kept from January to May 1970.  In those days I named each of my notebooks in imitation of Anaïs Nin.  On the first … Continue reading →

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July 1992: The Journal is a Safe Space

(Another entry from Ritual Year, written July 1992) Vision.  I always forget, when making visions, that the inner reality is much more important than the outer one.  In some ways it’s much easier to create a vision of a completed … Continue reading →

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Ritual Year

I’ve been going through “Ritual Year” and I like it.  I thought it was all negativity but it’s not.  I just read one about a therapy session with Karen.  A blood-soaked bundle holding the pieces of a childhood that had … Continue reading →

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March 1976: The Journal is Center

(from Ritual Year: written in March 1976) Today I felt very depressed and sick.  The old fear came back, fear of the ringing phone, of the sun and wind outside.  I went looking for an escapist book, but could not … Continue reading →

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June 1993: Ereshkigal

(Written in June of 1993, in  Writers Group: a guided meditation, I can’t remember now if it was something I read out loud, or something that was on a tape.) I was on a mountainside, by a stream, a view … Continue reading →

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April 1992: Truth Express

(I wrote this in a writing group I was facilitating in April of 1992) I want to do a more focussed writing.  I’m sick of rambling.  Yet I don’t have any topic to write about.  I want to go for … Continue reading →

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Email to my Psychiatrist

(Written in September 2009) I’m doing very badly. My sleep was broken last night.  This has been a pattern lately: I wake up at 4 or 5, go back to bed with a CD and do my breath exercise (which … Continue reading →

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Thoughts about Truth

I’ve been sitting here puzzling over the nature of “truth.”  Someone who was at my presentation last night started talking about people living long ago being warlike.  I asked “How do you know?” and he couldn’t really tell me.  I … Continue reading →

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No Expectations

(Written in September 2010) It’s interesting. I’m feeling OK right now.  Yesterday I decided that I wasn’t going to do anything today, I also expected to feel horrible and figured I’d just soldier on.  This has happened other times when … Continue reading →

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