Category Archives: Journal

Fear

July 18 Erica said I needed to reassure the baby that it was OK to be scared, but I also needed to contact the ones who don’t want to be scared.  One of those is upset because she doesn’t know … Continue reading →

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“Tray of Cups”

Written June 12 It cooled off thank goodness.  Now it’s grey.  Feeling fine last night and then waking in the morning feeling totally bleak.  I remember this from the past.  I feel like nothing’s changed, despite all my work. Some … Continue reading →

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April 4, 1968

I wrote this in 1968, while I was living with Fred.  It’s undated in my journal I don’t know where to start.  It seemed as though the volcano was going to blow last night.  I wanted to smash a window … Continue reading →

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“This is the Work for Now”

Dialogue between Jenny of now and Jenny in the hospital.  I was afraid the hospital Jenny would be uncomfortable with her much older self, and even with almost any adult.  I decided to be a “Great Aunt,” and couldn’t find … Continue reading →

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Darkness Before Dawn

One of the chapters in Darkness Before Dawn spoke so well to me that I marked a lot of passages.  It’s called “Into the Dark Light” by Elizabeth Rabia Roberts. She says “any loss that strips away the identity you … Continue reading →

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Depression

I’ve been struggling with depression for about a month.  It’s the first time I’ve been depressed in a long time.  This is what I wrote this morning. Woke up terrified with a bad headache.  I haven’t had this hard a … Continue reading →

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More Old Journal Writing

This is from my journal written in July 1968.  I was living with a guy because I was so desperate not to be alone.  The use of lower-case letters for “I”, the Roman numerals, the names of the days were … Continue reading →

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Self-hate Poem from 1967

I wrote this when I was 25.  I look back at my life from this place of feeling so much better — though it’s also extremely unfamiliar — and see how much pain I was in.  The constant criticism of … Continue reading →

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Journal Writing

I posted the piece on the Red Woman yesterday.  I realize that though I’ve talked about her in my blog, I’ve never told the whole story.  I quote from my journal entry, in 1989, about her first appearance.  Setting it … Continue reading →

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Red Woman

I’ve written about the “Red Woman” many times, she’s described in the page about my paintings, but I’ve never actually told the full story. Kripalu for Women & Yoga Written October 31, 1989 During body work with Debra, I was … Continue reading →

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