Category Archives: Journal

The Dance of Despair and Hope

Posted on August 15, 2020 by jenny

I haven’t done a post in a while.  I’ve been going back and forth between despair and hope. The despair comes from the current political struggle, the question of the Post Office, Mitch McConnell’s ability to stymie political action on … Continue reading →

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Losses of my Life

Posted on July 29, 2020 by jenny

Continued from journal for February 18, 1992 What am I grieving for?  All the losses of my life.  I suppose I might as well list them.  And immediately, up comes that sense of boredom and criticism, who do you think … Continue reading →

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Writing about Sorrow and Death

Posted on July 28, 2020 by jenny

More from journal for February 18, 1992 Candle.  Cup of tea.  Bach B minor Mass. I want to write about sorrow and death.  I was going to listen to aap sahaee hoaa on earphones, but the tape is in the … Continue reading →

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Struggle to Take Care of Myself

Posted on July 27, 2020 by jenny

The next three posts are from writing I did on February 18 in 1992.  I’ve been reading my way through my old journals in an attempt to integrate my younger self with my present self.  I keep being surprised at … Continue reading →

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Grief, Guilt, and Frustration

Posted on July 13, 2020 by jenny

These two entries show how I use writing to understand better what I’m struggling with and that helps me to be more resilient. from my journal for Sunday, July 12 Today I found myself virtually immobilized by grief.  At first … Continue reading →

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Totally Discouraged

Posted on July 11, 2020 by jenny

From my journal: Tuesday, July 7 I’m having a pretty tough time.  The bite I got a couple of days ago, spider maybe, still itches badly.  I put Benadryl ointment on it several times and it didn’t help at all. … Continue reading →

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Despite Very Little Joy, I Haven’t Quit, and I’m Not Alone

Posted on July 6, 2020 by jenny

Slightly edited from my journal: Monday, June 29 I had been looking forward to B talking about her spiritual journey.  I knew she had had a hard time in her life, and I was really hoping for suggestions for things … Continue reading →

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Self-betrayal

Posted on June 27, 2020 by jenny

This is from my journal for May 1991.  It describes the process that Bessel Van Der Kolk called “Hijacking.”  “The big issue for traumatized people is they don’t own themselves any more.  Any loud sound, anybody insulting them, hurting them, … Continue reading →

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Is Sorry Enough?

Posted on June 26, 2020 by jenny

From my journal for May 25, 2020 Kesaya Noda sent the Hanover Meeting listserve a link to a piece by a doctor who’s working on the Navajo Reservation.  It’s an apology to a baby girl he delivered, wearing a mask … Continue reading →

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Being Unmet

Posted on June 21, 2020 by jenny

from my journal for Wednesday, May 20 I was feeling really awful yesterday.  It was like I had lost all the spiritual connection I’ve felt over the past months.  Somehow I was able to trust that it was real, it … Continue reading →

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