Category Archives: Depression

Anger is Unmetabolized Grief

Posted on August 27, 2022 by jenny

Just watched the Francis Weller video on grief.  He says that anger is unmetabolized grief.  I thought about the other day, when I realized that I was angry with my ex-husband for the coldness with which he treated me after … Continue reading →

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Low Thyroid

Posted on July 3, 2022 by jenny

Found out from Dr. Vreeland that my thyroid is badly underfunctioning. This was about 10 days ago. Since then, I have stopped pushing myself. It was a relief to find that there was a physical reason for my difficulty waking … Continue reading →

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Describing PTSD before I Knew I had it

Posted on April 23, 2022 by jenny

Reading through my journal for  1994, I came on these paragraphs. What’s fascinating is that I’m describing PTSD, but I have no idea that’s what’s going on. I do somehow know that I need to go in deeper, but have … Continue reading →

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That Twilight Feeling, reprise

Posted on December 31, 2021 by jenny

These two messages arrived at the end of the year. They speak to exactly how I’m feeling, which is very lonely, very sad, a sense that there is no meaning to my life, a kind of end-of-life version of That … Continue reading →

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Empty Cold Place

Posted on December 20, 2021 by jenny

from my journal for October 24 2021 Checking email, I saw something about how corporate interests are acting against the freedom of the internet.  I could feel the “bad guys” closing in, and it reminded me of Etty Hillesum as … Continue reading →

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Need for Forgiveness

Posted on July 30, 2021 by jenny

This morning I wrote a long piece about the constant stuck pain in my heart, and trying to figure out what it was.  It came to me that it might have been about this incident with Mother.  Reading it earlier … Continue reading →

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Primary Wound History

Posted on May 25, 2021 by jenny

I wrote this yesterday as part of a program given by Matt Licata, who is a trauma-sensitive therapist and writer.  I found about him from a piece of his blog, which was posted on Jalaja Bonheim’s Circlework Page.  I’m in … Continue reading →

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A Sojourn in Hell

Posted on May 13, 2021 by jenny

Here are some extracts from my journal for the week after I fell and hurt my knee on Monday, April 5.  See Knockdown.  During the week my knee got worse, and I had a very bad time psychologically.  I think … Continue reading →

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An Anarchist Quaker’s Prayer to Soothe Anxiety

Posted on April 12, 2021 by jenny

This came from Yes! Magazine.  I copied it into a document I call “Resource,” which I go to in times of trouble.  I’m doing really badly right now, and this seemed appropriate.  I wish I could manage to soothe myself, … Continue reading →

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Paradigm Shift

Posted on March 26, 2021 by jenny

Recently I realized that the two worlds I shift between, the one where I’m stuck in depression, worthless, living a meaningless broken life, and the one where I haven’t wasted my suffering, and my work on myself benefits everyone — … Continue reading →

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