Category Archives: Depression

1995: Biological Foundation for Mood Disorders

I wish I had named the book and the author.  I find it fascinating that it took so long for me to find out that I was dealing with trauma, that my reaction to the noise of the planes was … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on 1995: Biological Foundation for Mood Disorders

1995: Self-Mutilation

So amazing to read this. I started cutting myself in California when a boyfriend left me for someone else. I did it for a number of years in my 20’s, and stopped, interestingly, when my brother said “Buddha says ‘life … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on 1995: Self-Mutilation

1995: Glider Hatred

During the years from 1984 to 1997 I suffered from the noise of small planes from a nearby airport. The worst were the ones that towed the gliders because it went on so long. I wrote this in my journal … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on 1995: Glider Hatred

“A deep well of sadness”

Writing done in group on Monday, May 15 A well of unprocessed grief “To be met!”  That’s what I said when I was doing somatic experiencing with Peter Payne.  He also did body work and I was sitting on his … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Healing, Journal, Present Day, Somatic Experiencing | Comments Off on “A deep well of sadness”

A Well of Unprocessed Grief

For a number of days I’ve been feeling really awful. Empty and meaningless, lost in a world where there is no depth or soul. In writers group on Monday I tried to describe it. I thought maybe I was picking … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Journal, Present Day | Comments Off on A Well of Unprocessed Grief

From 1994: “Choose to be Happy”

From my journal for October 30, 1994 Woke feeling very depressed.  Hard to get out of bed.  Told myself it was just chemicals in my body and I had to go on with my life.  Held it up “as prayer.”  … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Journal | Comments Off on From 1994: “Choose to be Happy”

Folk Dancing Feeds my Soul

From an earlier post called “When did you stop dancing?” “In many shamanic societies, if you came to a medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited or depressed, they would ask one of four questions:  When did you stop dancing?  … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Healing, Present Day, Spirit | Comments Off on Folk Dancing Feeds my Soul

From 1994: “This miserable wimp is herself my task”

From my journal for September 1994, about a session with my therapist Karen: I wanted to focus on that feeling that it’s not OK to protect myself from the noise of the planes by wearing the walkman.  We explored all … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on From 1994: “This miserable wimp is herself my task”

From 1994: Seeing How Hard My Life has Been

From my journal for September 1994 O gosh, I feel so sad and bummed out.  I see lots of things I “should” do, organizing house type things, and I feel “what’s the use.”  The planes haven’t been too bad so … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on From 1994: Seeing How Hard My Life has Been

Worldview

I wrote this in December 2005 and first posted it on October 8, 2010. I wrote it deliberately as a vision for how I wanted to see my life, I didn’t believe it at all. Reading it today I am … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Journal, Spirit, Story, Trauma, Vocation | Comments Off on Worldview