Category Archives: Depression

Guidance for Feeling Bleak

Posted on December 5, 2010 by jenny

(Written in January 2009) Feeling pretty bleak. I didn’t come out of it yesterday until women’s group. I felt like a child, thrust into an adult situation, and expected to act like an adult, and I haven’t a clue how … Continue reading →

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Transforming Grief

Posted on November 30, 2010 by jenny

(Written in April 2009) Laura asked how we transform feelings by using the dance. It sounded like both Jan and Laura have a way of sending negative energy into the ground through their feet, Laura then invokes the energy of … Continue reading →

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Angry at Myself

Posted on November 29, 2010 by jenny

(Written in April 2009) Woke scared & sad. I really fell apart inside yesterday. I’m sure it’s because everybody’s leaving. We just had a wonderful weekend of training in Women’s Ritual Dances with Laura Shannon. I’m also feeling a lot … Continue reading →

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Feeling Better

Posted on November 13, 2010 by jenny

(Written in August 2008) I felt so much better yesterday! It’s so amazing — to be able to enjoy my ordinary life instead of feeling like it’s an unpleasant chore. There were times in the morning when I could feel … Continue reading →

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“Don’t Care”

Posted on October 26, 2010 by jenny

Karen, my therapist in Montpelier, was helpful though I didn’t have a lot to say. Somehow I got onto the belief that not doing something was equivalent to not caring. I think this is part of what gets me in … Continue reading →

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Try to do Too Much

Posted on October 24, 2010 by jenny

(Written in October 2003) I’m feeling so discouraged and defeated. I see how, when I was feeling better in the summer, I did the COA black & white thing “I’m all better now.” And so I immediately wanted to widen … Continue reading →

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Struggle with Depression

Posted on October 23, 2010 by jenny

(Written in October 2003) A dream about grade school – where I learned not to let on that I wanted something for it wouldn’t be given. Family was that way too. I think about babies who die because no one … Continue reading →

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Struggle with Fear

Posted on October 22, 2010 by jenny

(Written in October 2003) Yesterday evening was pretty good. I felt quiet & peaceful & tired. Made supper, enjoyed the sunset, read and washed dishes. That’s how I’d like my life to be. Woke OK this morning but then hot … Continue reading →

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What Depression Does for Me

Posted on October 21, 2010 by jenny

(Written in October 2003) Woke at 5:41 terrified. Tried to bring compassion to my fear. No softening, all is meaningless. No sense of contact with the spirit realm. Last night at NVC check-in I talked about my despair. I said … Continue reading →

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Despair

Posted on October 20, 2010 by jenny

(Written in October 2003) What I am feeling is despair. I feel “like” my life has been wasted in a meaningless struggle, etc. But that’s a thought. What am I feeling in my body? Ache and heaviness of heart, weakness … Continue reading →

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