Category Archives: Trauma

Guidance

(Written in January 2007) Woke early feeling very lost. We stayed up late watching Spitfire Grill. I think I may have seen it before, but can’t remember for sure. There was a Viet Nam vet living in the woods, and … Continue reading →

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Despair

(Written in October 2003) What I am feeling is despair. I feel “like” my life has been wasted in a meaningless struggle, etc. But that’s a thought. What am I feeling in my body? Ache and heaviness of heart, weakness … Continue reading →

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PTSD

(Written in May 2008) That state when my brain is “jammed”, circuits crossed. Helpless, baffled, frantic. This is PTSD — flashback to state of helpless baby. Remind. JAMMED. CIRCUITS CROSSED. Then — pay attention to feet on floor. Do something … Continue reading →

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Three Things

(Written in August 2010) When I got to Karen yesterday, I just cried. I said I was confused and discouraged and didn’t know what to do, had no way to know which technique was working to help me out of … Continue reading →

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Acceptance

(Written in May 2008) Started yesterday with a headache. I met Pat as I left Neskaya and she said she had a headache too and thought it was pollen. O yes pollen, that makes sense. That allowed me to accept … Continue reading →

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The Sexual War Zone

(Written in April 2008) I wondered if I were to just do writing practice if it would help with the toxicity — just keep the pen moving.  This is the fourth time this month…    A lot of tension in my … Continue reading →

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Guidance

(Written in March 2007) Woke afraid in the night, woke afraid & sweating in the morning.  It feels like there is a huge and hostile being waiting for me to make a mistake and punish/humiliate me.  My chest still hurts.  … Continue reading →

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Comforting the Baby

(Written in February 2007) Told Karen all about the confusions of last week and the terror of Saturday, and what Eleanor said about Brad’s leaving.  But really that’s all evaluation and analysis.  What’s in the moment is the terrified baby, … Continue reading →

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No Firm Foundation

(Written in February 2007) I’m feeling precarious, a bit lost, a little scared, a little discouraged.  I feel like there is no firm foundation under me.  I try to let my weight down solidly on the couch, to let the … Continue reading →

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Collapsed Place

(Written in February 2007) In a Somatic Experiencing session I complained to Dave about the amount of time I spend in the collapsed (despairing, terrified) place versus the time spent feeling 3-dimensional and real and confident, he said the collapsed … Continue reading →

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