Category Archives: Present Day

Terrified

Posted on July 14, 2015 by jenny

I’ve been trying to get off Ativan, an anti-anxiety drug that I’ve been taking for a while.  It turns out that new research has shown that it’s one of a class of drugs that cause problems with memory and other … Continue reading →

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“Tray of Cups”

Posted on July 13, 2015 by jenny

Written June 12 It cooled off thank goodness.  Now it’s grey.  Feeling fine last night and then waking in the morning feeling totally bleak.  I remember this from the past.  I feel like nothing’s changed, despite all my work. Some … Continue reading →

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“This is the Work for Now”

Posted on June 27, 2015 by jenny

Dialogue between Jenny of now and Jenny in the hospital.  I was afraid the hospital Jenny would be uncomfortable with her much older self, and even with almost any adult.  I decided to be a “Great Aunt,” and couldn’t find … Continue reading →

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Darkness Before Dawn

Posted on June 26, 2015 by jenny

One of the chapters in Darkness Before Dawn spoke so well to me that I marked a lot of passages.  It’s called “Into the Dark Light” by Elizabeth Rabia Roberts. She says “any loss that strips away the identity you … Continue reading →

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Depression

Posted on June 25, 2015 by jenny

I’ve been struggling with depression for about a month.  It’s the first time I’ve been depressed in a long time.  This is what I wrote this morning. Woke up terrified with a bad headache.  I haven’t had this hard a … Continue reading →

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Tough Going

Posted on June 19, 2015 by jenny

Pain.  “What you feel you can heal” The session with Erica was filled with so much pain.  I don’t think I’ve ever felt so much except maybe long ago when I splashed pain all over my journals.  Writhed with it, … Continue reading →

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What it’s Like to Live with PTSD

Posted on June 18, 2015 by jenny

It’s sunny and beautiful out, and I can’t bear it.  It’s a day to go out and enjoy the world, and I just want to hide.  Yesterday was so much easier, it was grey with drizzly rain. Now I understand … Continue reading →

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Trying to Love Myself

Posted on June 17, 2015 by jenny

This came on the Daily Good: Love After Love The time will come when, with elation you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror and each will smile at the other’s welcome, and say, sit … Continue reading →

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Need Cheering Up?

Posted on June 16, 2015 by jenny

I’m feeling blue and need some cheering up.  The Daily Good today sent Matt Dancing.  How could I forget about Matt? Matt dancing in 2008 Words to song: The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and … Continue reading →

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Depression in Reaction to Feeling Good

Posted on June 1, 2015 by jenny

I wrote this paragraph for a group called Patients Like Me, writing it for other people dealing with PTSD. The worst thing about PTSD for me is to be where I am now: Technically called hypoarousal, it also means depressed … Continue reading →

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