Category Archives: Breakdown

Anger

Posted on March 28, 2011 by jenny

(Written in November 2008) Thinking about Liv Whitelaw the Outlaw, in Elizabeth George’s Playing for the Ashes, and her anger and pain and her need to feel powerful and her self-destructiveness, and wondering if that arose in reaction to a … Continue reading →

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Painful Beliefs

Posted on March 26, 2011 by jenny

(Written in November 2008) A couple of painful conversations with Eleanor.  She asked about staying here more and I wasn’t able to say it would be OK.  My dismay clearly showed on my face, and she called and left a … Continue reading →

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Somatic Experiencing

Posted on March 25, 2011 by jenny

(Written in October 2008) Session with Caryn: I told her about getting activated with the psychiatrist and then calming it with the image of geologic process.  Went thru several cycles of activation & discharge.  Noticed that my head stayed cool, … Continue reading →

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Somatic Experiencing

Posted on March 24, 2011 by jenny

(Written in September 2008) Work with Caryn was fascinating.  I started by crying, and then shaking, and then talking about my fears about Bella.  She said it was too much, to stop piling it on and connect with resources, with … Continue reading →

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Breakdown

Posted on March 23, 2011 by jenny

(Written in September 2008.  A longer version of this was posted 4/17/10) I’m doing pretty badly.  I keep having waves of fear — tho they do pass.   I talked to Dr. L & she said to raise the meds to … Continue reading →

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Another Bad Night

Posted on March 22, 2011 by jenny

(Written in September 2008) Another bad night.  Heat in my chest and elbows — I think I remember that one from ‘96.  I’m doing my best to accept whatever is going on, thinking of it as a shamanic illness. I … Continue reading →

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Guidance

Posted on March 20, 2011 by jenny

(Written in August 2008) Dear Guides and Guardian Spirits, I’m having a pretty hard time.  Please help me. Dear Jenny, we love you.  We love you very much.  We are so sorry that this is being so hard, but it … Continue reading →

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Breakdown 2008

Posted on March 19, 2011 by jenny

In the spring of 2008 I was feeling pretty good.  I thought that the thyroid supplements had taken care of the depression and I didn’t need to keep taking medication.  So I started reducing my dose of imipramine.  I also … Continue reading →

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Nancy Napier

Posted on March 15, 2011 by jenny

(Written in September 2008) A little better this morning.  My heart still hurts but I’m not experiencing the same depth of despair.  Yesterday I was reading Nancy Napier’s chapter on despair where she talks about sending a line of light … Continue reading →

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Theater Workshop

Posted on March 14, 2011 by jenny

(Written in August 2008) I want to think a little about what I didn’t get from the drama workshop.  I think I was wanting to celebrate my strength in getting as far as I have — it was the same … Continue reading →

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