(Written in September 2008. A longer version of this was posted 4/17/10)
I’m doing pretty badly. I keep having waves of fear — tho they do pass. I talked to Dr. L & she said to raise the meds to 150 I and 40 Buspar. So I took extra in the middle of the day. If it doesn’t work I will ask her to prescribe Adivam — at least I know that works with Imipramine.
And if that doesn’t work, I’m seriously considering going into the hospital — Lore recommended the one in Berlin/Montpelier and Karen has had patients there and knows some of the staff.
Slept hardly at all, 2 hrs before midnight but nothing after that. Anxiety has spiralled out of control. I’m too exhausted to do any of my coping strategies — EFT, yoga breathing. I can’t even read. I left a message for Dr. L asking her to prescribe Adivam — since I know I’m OK with it. I don’t dare try anything new. I think what’s happening is flashbacks to the Paxil episode.
I quit this morning. Just gave up the struggle and put myself in the hands of … whoever.