(Written in January 2009)
A bad night. Yesterday was pretty horrible. Long stretches of no meaning, waves of discouragement and despair. I keep bringing my mind to the present moment, or to a prayer or affirmation. It takes everything I’ve got to keep cooking and eating, getting wood, walking the dog. I can’t do anything that requires making decisions or moral/emotional strength like balancing the checkbook, setting up new file folders etc [I still haven’t done that and it’s March 20]
Called my psychiatrist & left message to say that a couple of nights ago I had taken 250 Seroquel at bedtime and woke terrified 45 min later. [This was my first inkling that the Seroquel was not good for me.]