(Written in January 2009)
Woke in fear, took 50 Seroquel, later took .5 Ativan. So now I’m sleepy. And nothing to say. Nothing to hold on to any more either — I’m totally bereft of resources — I didn’t even do the 20 minute meditations yesterday.
My psychiatrist said she’s taking some time off to adopt a baby so I have to find someone else to supervise my meds. I called Karen, Lore, and Janet, but no one’s called back. The news is discouraging, there doesn’t seem to be anybody
I’m exhausted and terrified and weak. I feel hungry, but I did cook and eat eggs & rice, washed dishes, brought in wood, dumped compost. Last night I tried going through my journal for last fall, writing in the various medications, but I don’t see any pattern at all.
If there are any beings out there who wish me well, please bring me/ show me something that will help.