(Written in January 2009)
Karen was very helpful. I was stuck in that awful place of: I try something, look to see if it’s working, and if not I conclude I can’t do it. That old old pattern. Karen kept saying I WAS doing it, I’m doing things differently. I had to make her say it several times and then I began to say it myself. So I have a new set of affirmations, and I remind myself again again, just because something doesn’t work right away doesn’t mean it doesn’t work.
AFFIRMATIONS:
It is possible to heal
I am doing things that will help me heal
I am doing things differently
from how it was in my childhood
from what I used to do
I am telling the traumatized baby that I will stay with her, I won’t go away, I will give her all the time and space she needs. I am committed to her welfare.I am reaching out to my friends and they are delighted to help me.
When I feel that overwhelming discouragement — that is the introjected voices of Mom & Dad. I don’t have to try to convince then they are wrong — that’s a negative feedback loop. What I need to do is tell them to get out, go away, and slam the door behind them. I CAN DO THIS.