Category Archives: Depression

More Old Journal Writing

Posted on May 25, 2015 by jenny

This is from my journal written in July 1968.  I was living with a guy because I was so desperate not to be alone.  The use of lower-case letters for “I”, the Roman numerals, the names of the days were … Continue reading →

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Self-hate Poem from 1967

Posted on May 22, 2015 by jenny

I wrote this when I was 25.  I look back at my life from this place of feeling so much better — though it’s also extremely unfamiliar — and see how much pain I was in.  The constant criticism of … Continue reading →

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I Can’t See Who I Am

Posted on March 28, 2015 by jenny

I told Erica about seeing the wounded animal by the road.  It’s one of my worst nightmares, to see an animal so wounded that it can’t live, and not being able to do anything about it. I think it’s because … Continue reading →

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“Letting Go” of Old Beliefs

Posted on February 6, 2015 by jenny

Recently I heard someone talking about “imagine waking up in the morning full of enthusiasm!”  and something about “letting go of those negative beliefs,” and I found myself angry.  It’s just not as easy as that. My own experience has … Continue reading →

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Despair

Posted on January 16, 2015 by jenny

I’ve been having a really bad time.  It started with “that twilight feeling,” the first experience of depression that I can remember.  I was 12 years old.  I was left alone at our summer house in Maine, with three younger … Continue reading →

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Losing Myself

Posted on January 15, 2015 by jenny

From my journal: Friday Don’t even know how to start.  When I got to Karen’s I thought I’d cry a lot.  Also thought of getting on the bed and kicking and pounding.  I probably should have done that.  I’m not … Continue reading →

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“Not Worth Taking Care Of”

Posted on January 14, 2015 by jenny

Entries from my journal for early January: Monday I was typing the entry for December 1, where I had talked about not telling someone outside the shop that their car lights were on, and not picking up a hitch-hiker, and … Continue reading →

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Not to Rescue, but to be Rescued

Posted on December 7, 2014 by jenny

I feel crashed, utterly felled, fallen into a deep dark hole by the decision to send Damien back.  What’s most painful is seeing how I do have the skills to work with him and befriend him, what I don’t have … Continue reading →

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Rescue Dog

Posted on December 1, 2014 by jenny

I brought Damien home a week ago.  He mostly stays in his crate, but he does come out to eat, to drink, and to use his wee-wee pad.  (I’m very grateful that he always pees exactly in the middle.)  He’s … Continue reading →

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New Dog?

Posted on October 31, 2014 by jenny

I am thinking about getting a rescue dog.  He was in a situation where the owner had more dogs than they could care for.  He probably wasn’t let out of his crate very often.  He isn’t house trained and is … Continue reading →

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