Category Archives: Trauma

“to reteach a thing its loveliness…”

Posted on October 18, 2023 by jenny

Written in writing group on Monday, October 17: Met Gwen & Sandra near the stairs — said I was having a hard time.  They both hugged me, asked if I felt loved.  I said yes. Won’t you look down upon … Continue reading →

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“This time it’s all of us or none”

Posted on October 13, 2023 by jenny

Puerto Rican Jewish poet and activist Aurora Levins Morales poem “Red Sea”: We cannot cross until we carry each other, all of us refugees, all of us prophets. No more taking turns on history’s wheel, trying to collect old debts … Continue reading →

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1995: Struggle to Find Compassion for Myself

Posted on October 12, 2023 by jenny

November 24, 1995 I’m sitting outside the Dojo in Montpelier while Dana teaches class.  I came with him because I wanted to go to the Psychodrama performance “Surviving through the Night.”  Someone gave me the flyer when we had the … Continue reading →

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1995: Trying to Pretend I’m “Normal”

Posted on October 11, 2023 by jenny

From my journal for November 21, 1995 No headache this morning, just the despair.  The headache would have been manageable without the despair, I’ve lived through worse, but last night the two together were too much.  I see that the … Continue reading →

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1995: The Importance of Heart and Soul

Posted on October 3, 2023 by jenny

From my journal for November 17, 1995.  By this time I am regularly questioning why I keep writing.  I am typing up roughly a year later, and sometime next year I stop typing completely.  I thought I might stop writing, … Continue reading →

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Yet Another Young Part

Posted on September 30, 2023 by jenny

From my journal for Wednesday, September 13 3rd cup. coffee.     Feeling very odd.  I’m finding it extremely hard to stay present.  I had been walking Mocha for a little while when I realized I had been thinking, not paying … Continue reading →

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1995: “Happiness is a Choice?”

Posted on September 22, 2023 by jenny

From my journal for Sept 5,1995 Reading the new version of Son-Rise — a friend offered it to me because of their practice of radical acceptance of their autistic son — I find myself very angry at the exposition of … Continue reading →

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Early Work with Younger “Parts”

Posted on September 19, 2023 by jenny

(Written in June 2004) In a session of the “Wave Work” at Kripalu: there was a confusing struggle with my body’s tendency to cramp up (esp left hand) and kick, shake, jump.  Finally I let it shrivel up into a … Continue reading →

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1995: Symptoms of Trauma

Posted on September 12, 2023 by jenny

At this point in 1995 I had no idea I was dealing with PTSD. From my journal for November 10: Second cup of tea. … and nothing to say.  I feel cold.  There’s the ache in my stomach and heart … Continue reading →

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“Attainment too is Emptiness…”

Posted on September 5, 2023 by jenny

Written in writing group on Monday, September 4 The title comes from a Buddhist chant to the Bodhisattva of Compassion. and nothing to say…  nothing to say…  The world is empty.  I’m the only one left on the planet.  That … Continue reading →

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