Category Archives: Trauma

Failure

Posted on April 15, 2010 by jenny

(Written in February 2008) “In the middle of my life I found myself in a dark wood — where the true way was wholly lost.” David Whyte, quoting Dante.  The moon was low enough to shine on my face and … Continue reading →

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Invisible Heroes

Posted on April 7, 2010 by jenny

Belleruth Naparstek wrote Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal.  It’s a book that I have found ENORMOUSLY helpful.  One problem of living with PTSD is that most people don’t have any idea of what that’s like, so … Continue reading →

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“Holding on to Pain”

Posted on April 5, 2010 by jenny

(Written in March 2010) Prompted by Bobbi, I’ve been reading Eckhart Tolle, The New Earth.  I’m at a section where he’s saying that people hold on to their pain, and I think that’s garbage.  Some people do, I’m sure, it’s … Continue reading →

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What’s still there

Posted on April 3, 2010 by jenny

(Written in January 2009) I’ve been typing up from the retreat at Kripalu.  Jack Kornfield asked “Can we touch our broken places with tenderness?” and that helped me soften.  Looking at poor wounded Jenny and seeing how very difficult her … Continue reading →

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Tough day

Posted on April 2, 2010 by jenny

(Written in January 2009) Yesterday was pretty tough, even in the evening I was having waves of that deadly heavy feeling that I have trouble naming.  Heavy duty cold despair: “What’s the point.” Fortunately it doesn’t last long. One thing … Continue reading →

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Discouraged

Posted on March 29, 2010 by jenny

(Written in August 2008) I’m finding it hard to accept that I need to keep taking 50mg imipramine just to be able to keep going.  It feels like such a defeat, such a proof that I’m a weakling.  I was … Continue reading →

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What it’s like in the Underworld of PTSD

Posted on March 22, 2010 by jenny

(Written in September 2008) At Neskaya.  Having a cup of tea because I’ve been cold all morning.  This reminds me of that terrible February when I went to Cincinnati — for a week?  I know I wrote “two whole weeks … Continue reading →

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PTSD

Posted on March 20, 2010 by jenny

(Written  January 2008) Had a bad shock yesterday.  I was reading Deena Metzger’s book (From Grief to Vision) & there was something about the peat bogs in Siberia releasing methane as they melt — an irreversible process — it may … Continue reading →

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Mean Mothers and Bodily Harm

Posted on March 15, 2010 by jenny

I’ve been reading a book called Mean Mothers: Overcoming the Legacy of Hurt by Peg Streep.  She quotes the authors of Bodily Harm: The Breakthrough Healing Program for Self-Injurers: “Self-injury represents a frantic attempt by someone with low coping skills … Continue reading →

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Not enough support

Posted on March 10, 2010 by jenny

(Written in May 2009) Last night when I got home I just felt completely exhausted and discouraged.  I’m so tired of trying to remember all the things I need to keep doing to heal, and I don’t know if any … Continue reading →

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