Category Archives: Trauma

1996: The Organic Process of Thought

Posted on July 28, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for June 14, 1996 Karen said “You started off meandering and came back to yourself,”  but I’m not so sure that’s where I arrived.  The organic process of thought, that arrives not at some pre-ordained goal, but … Continue reading →

Posted in Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on 1996: The Organic Process of Thought

1996: “Old” World and “New” World

Posted on July 27, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for June 5, 1996 It’s not so much the fear that I am going to do something “wrong,” it’s the knowledge that I am “wrong,” and nothing I can do will change it.  And then I feel … Continue reading →

Posted in Healing, Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on 1996: “Old” World and “New” World

1996: Feeling Safe for the First Time

Posted on July 22, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for June 6, 1996 O gosh I feel so awful.  I’m also scared — the old stuff — how will I take care of myself — feeling that I don’t have the resources to get my needs … Continue reading →

Posted in Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on 1996: Feeling Safe for the First Time

1996: Enneagram 4, Difficult Winter, Individuation Process

Posted on July 15, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for May 8, 1996 Woke early.  I have angry rejoinders to my brother going through my head, so thought I would just write them down.  Actually, I think he did me a service with his stupid, patronizing, … Continue reading →

Posted in Breakdown, Depression, Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on 1996: Enneagram 4, Difficult Winter, Individuation Process

1996: Tangle of Fear and Grief and Anger

Posted on July 9, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for April 24, 1996 Driving over to Danville, Lynelle asked how I was doing, and I said I had been anxious until I got to the underlying sadness.  When I can feel the sadness, the anxiety goes … Continue reading →

Posted in Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on 1996: Tangle of Fear and Grief and Anger

1996: Need to Deal with Damage to the Foundation

Posted on July 8, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for April 17, 1996 I’ve been thinking how out of touch I feel with that experience of spaciousness I had last year.  It’s as though it happened to a different person.  I feel like I’ve had all … Continue reading →

Posted in Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on 1996: Need to Deal with Damage to the Foundation

1995: Struggling with Health, Noise, Confusion

Posted on July 4, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for September 11, 1995 I want to write about my odd feeling yesterday and today.  I’m sure it’s at least partly the cold that makes me feel thick-headed and dazed, partly Dana being away that makes me … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on 1995: Struggling with Health, Noise, Confusion

1996: Description of Trauma before I Understood that I had been Traumatized

Posted on July 3, 2024 by jenny

From my journal for March 1996.  Eleanor is my friend who was badly abused in her family of origin. She was herself dealing with PTSD, and kept trying to convince me that I was too. At that time, I thought … Continue reading →

Posted in Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on 1996: Description of Trauma before I Understood that I had been Traumatized

1996: Go Back and Re-do “Life 101”

Posted on June 9, 2024 by jenny

These journal entries are immediately after the Paxil episode. I find the experiences I describe quite extraordinary. I have been reading a book called The Journey of Soul Initiation by Bill Plotkin. His understanding of how the world works and … Continue reading →

Posted in Healing, Journal, Spirit, Story, Trauma | Comments Off on 1996: Go Back and Re-do “Life 101”

Traumatized Before the Age of Three

Posted on June 8, 2024 by jenny

What makes it possible for humans to have “basic trust in a benign universe”? This is an idea that Kaethe Weinberg talks about in her book Common Shock. She wrote that “children raised in a “good enough” environment grow up … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Trauma | Comments Off on Traumatized Before the Age of Three