Category Archives: Breakdown

Help for Being Stuck

Posted on August 17, 2012 by jenny

(At Kripalu with Jack Kornfield, December 2008) I realize that just through doing the meditation I’ve begun to tease apart the tangled feelings in my heart and am also beginning to feel more strong and clear about what to do … Continue reading →

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We’re All a Bit Battered

Posted on August 16, 2012 by jenny

(Written in December 2008, at Kripalu) Dreamed of trying to maneuver a car in a snowy rutted gouged lot.  There was barely space between two cars with a deep erosion ditch.  I may have hit some of the other cars … Continue reading →

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Struggle with Being Stuck

Posted on August 15, 2012 by jenny

(Written in December 2008, at Kripalu for retreat with Jack Kornfield) I’m having a very hard time.  I’m feeling profoundly discouraged.  I keep thinking “I can’t go on.” Then I try to put it aside and refocus on my breath.  … Continue reading →

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Struggle with Self-hate

Posted on August 11, 2012 by jenny

(Written in December 2008) Sitting here doing computer solitaire when a bobcat walked by the bird feeder.  I got the binoculars and went into the bedroom and watched him walk along the upper level and turn into the logging road.  … Continue reading →

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Tied in a Knot

Posted on August 10, 2012 by jenny

(Written in December 2008) 1PM.  I’m doing pretty badly, I’m tired & cold, and I feel like a total failure.  I read the Jack Kornfield chapter on emotions and he says no emotion lasts longer than 15 to 30 seconds.  … Continue reading →

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Guidance & Needing Help

Posted on August 9, 2012 by jenny

(Written in December 2008) Dear Guides and Guardian Spirits, I just want to die.     Dear Jenny, you don’t want to die, you want a life that works.  You want friends, spiritual friends, a sangha.  You want to be reassured … Continue reading →

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Life is Difficult and Painful

Posted on August 8, 2012 by jenny

(Written in December 2008) I’m afraid to tell people how badly I’m doing for fear they will be angry at me.  I feel like I’m stuck in a narrow hole in a deep frozen place — Dante’s Hell.  I feel … Continue reading →

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Resource Notebook

Posted on August 8, 2012 by jenny

I put together a notebook of good things people have said about me, or times when I’m feeling good.  I started it in 2010, culling entries from past journals as well as current ones.  I called it my “resource notebook” … Continue reading →

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Struggle with Myself

Posted on August 7, 2012 by jenny

(Written in December 2008) I read a book that I picked up in the Library — Breakfast with Buddha. The author does a good job telling the story of a road trip with a middle American man and his sister’s … Continue reading →

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Invalidation can be Devastating

Posted on March 25, 2012 by jenny

(Written in January 2010) I’ve decided to post this entire story, hoping it will help people understand how to really be helpful to a challenged friend.  It illustrates the danger of well-meaning people who have their own agenda, and aren’t … Continue reading →

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