From my journal for Saturday, August 24
Wanting to talk to someone about spirituality, I remember the Inner Teacher. Haven’t asked that one for help for a long time.
Dear Inner Teacher, I’m not feeling very connected with Spirit and need some help.
Dear Jenny, actually you are pretty well connected with Spirit. Doing the metta prayer for all beings, listing the ones that are important to you, and tuning in to your connection with everything — how the Universe is all connected — are both good practices and you do them very naturally and easily.
Then why do I feel like I’m not doing anything?
Because of your childhood. Your parents essentially taught you that you couldn’t do anything right. This kind of early learning is very hard to update.
Fortunately, when I got to school, the assignments were clear, and what I did was graded consistently with truth. What I got right didn’t change from day to day. I got good grades and understood that I was intelligent, which helped give me some sense of confidence. Alas, I have other skills, like intuition, that I think I don’t have. That may be why I have trouble recognizing when I get something right, as in this example.