This morning I woke up feeling utterly unloved and hopeless, in a world where there is no spirit. The song in my head is “Diamonds and Rust,” Joan Baez’s amazing song about her love affair with Bob Dylan. I listened to it recently, but it was a couple of days ago. But yesterday I watched a woman talk about growing up feeling unloved by her estranged father, and after he died finding he had kept her high school photograph and a lock of her hair. She realized she had always been loved, and it changed her life. I’m so jealous of her, because she found evidence. Never happened to me. This morning I’m feeling about as unloved and unlovable as I ever have in my life.
I couldn’t get “Diamonds and Rust” out of my head, and I remembered I had a prayer to say when I was feeling bleak. Don’t remember when I stopped doing that, but I knew it was in my blog, so I looked it up. It’s called My Prayer/Vision. I wrote it down to help me relearn it.
“I choose to trust that the wider, more inclusive, participatory, sacred cosmos is alive and intelligent and works with us to create a better world for all.” That’s the shortest version and easier to remember. It’s interesting that it went through several stages, which I describe in this post.
I had finished writing this, saved it, previewed it, might have posted it, but I saw that I had email. There was something from the Daily Good that is SO APPROPRIATE. It’s called “A Primordial Covenant of Relationship” By Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee. He says:
This is the story of our time, this story of forgetfulness, this story of unraveling. Because the heart of the climate crisis is not a crisis of emissions—it’s not even a crisis of capitalism and greed. Those are all expressions of what happens when we lose the most essential nature of a connection, a relationship that has existed since time immemorial—the sacred connection between us, as human beings, and the living Earth.