Category Archives: Journal

Confusion

Posted on May 6, 2015 by jenny

Woke up feeling uncomfortable.  Not depressed, not scared, not contented.  Not satisfied.  I think I was really confused by what Erica said.  We were talking about me starting a women’s writing/support group.  I told her about my conversation with Yvette, … Continue reading →

Posted in Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on Confusion

Why It Takes So Long

Posted on March 16, 2015 by jenny

I’m thinking of the many times I’ve come to an exciting new understanding of myself, and then on re-reading my journal I discover that I’ve made the same discovery several years ago, and a few years before that, with apparent … Continue reading →

Posted in Healing, Journal, Present Day | Comments Off on Why It Takes So Long

Working with the Conflict

Posted on March 15, 2015 by jenny

From my journal, continued: Thursday, March 12 There’s a temptation to believe that I don’t enjoy my life, either because I’m not really making a contribution or because I’m refusing to enjoy my life as it is.  That makes me … Continue reading →

Posted in Healing, Journal, Present Day, Writing | Comments Off on Working with the Conflict

Confusion and Conflict

Posted on March 14, 2015 by jenny

This post is put together from a series of journal entries.  It shows how writing in my journal helps me process information. Tuesday, March 10 Erica’s waiting room.  Feeling sad & discouraged.  Trying to understand what caused this. I told … Continue reading →

Posted in Healing, Journal, Present Day, Trauma, Writing | Comments Off on Confusion and Conflict

Turnaround

Posted on March 8, 2015 by jenny

Wow.  What a turnaround.  I don’t feel any of the pain or confusion I felt two days ago.  One part of me was really beginning to get it that things are still there even when I get disconnected from them: … Continue reading →

Posted in Healing, Journal, Present Day, Trauma | Comments Off on Turnaround

Tough Session

Posted on March 7, 2015 by jenny

Yesterday was really tough.  I got to Erica and just cried.  I told her I was confused, had no sense of priority, and lost the sense of a solid core, did not feel connected to her.  She said all those … Continue reading →

Posted in Healing, Journal, Present Day, Trauma | Comments Off on Tough Session

Deep Work

Posted on February 16, 2015 by jenny

The work I’ve been doing with Erica has required me to go deep in myself and try to get what’s going on there.  It’s a non-verbal part of myself, so usually I get a feeling and then try to translate … Continue reading →

Posted in Healing, Journal, Present Day, Trauma | Comments Off on Deep Work

Despair

Posted on January 16, 2015 by jenny

I’ve been having a really bad time.  It started with “that twilight feeling,” the first experience of depression that I can remember.  I was 12 years old.  I was left alone at our summer house in Maine, with three younger … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Healing, Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on Despair

Losing Myself

Posted on January 15, 2015 by jenny

From my journal: Friday Don’t even know how to start.  When I got to Karen’s I thought I’d cry a lot.  Also thought of getting on the bed and kicking and pounding.  I probably should have done that.  I’m not … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Journal, Trauma | Comments Off on Losing Myself

“Not Worth Taking Care Of”

Posted on January 14, 2015 by jenny

Entries from my journal for early January: Monday I was typing the entry for December 1, where I had talked about not telling someone outside the shop that their car lights were on, and not picking up a hitch-hiker, and … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Journal, Present Day, Trauma | Comments Off on “Not Worth Taking Care Of”